To Find Our Way
by Shashoom
Summary: [Post KH3] And that was it, the Keyblade War was over and things had returned to normal. Or at least that's what they had hoped for. Aqua, Terra and Ven find themselves unable to sink back into their old routine, unable to truly connect with each other, the trauma caused by years of suffering simply too much to overcome. Perhaps a lifetime pass to Disney Town can help mend things.
1. Part 1: Ventus

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Disney and Square Enix. **

**I recently finished KH3 and I have _many _strong feelings about it and the series as a whole. I felt the best way to really processing it is to write it down. This idea originally came to me when I played BBS and is something that stayed in the back of my mind for quite a while. KH3 provided me with a way to telling this story while also really exploring these characters and their experiences. I've been out of practice for many years, so I apologize if my writing isn't up to scratch. I do hope that some of you take the time to read it and perhaps provide me with some constructive criticism. The story won't be very long and I can't promise that it'll be updated on a regular basis; whenever inspiration strikes I'll start writing. **

**For now, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

It's an odd thing, the ability to see, to hear, to taste, to smell and to feel. After spending more than a decade without these basic sensations, one can't help but be overwhelmed by the myriad of otherwise benign stimuli that one encounters every day. Deep in the recesses of one's heart, the only sensation is that of strong emotion, of an impact caused by a powerful moment. The moment he saw the red haired girl, my world shook violently, yet it wasn't unpleasant; when he stabbed himself to release his heart(s), there was a strange dullness, a void that prevented any cohesive thought; and when he was finally reunited with the two people he cherished more than anyone else in all the worlds, a flurry of emotions washed over me and I felt elation like never before. Violent tremors, numbness and sheer joy is what I had been experiencing for the many years I was with him, all other sensations I knew so well were seemingly lost to me (a part of me even considered the possibility that I had never experienced them in the first place – one's mind can wander when they have all the time in the world). So it came as a shock to me that the moment I was out, the moment I had been set free from my bastion, the moment I had been separated from the boy who had given me solace, I was still as nimble, strong, and agile as I was long ago. I didn't really think about it at the time, I was just truly grateful that I was able to use my abilities to protect a person so near and dear to _my_ heart (so strange to refer to my heart as mine).

I was free, I was with Aqua and Terra once more, and the one person I had to thank for this was the spiky haired boy with a heart as big as any world I had visited; and thank him I did, with all my heart. I would have prostrated myself before him had I known that that would have only made him feel uncomfortable. He had helped a person that was a part of him, he had helped a friend and he didn't need a thank you, he only needed to know that I was okay.

I miss him dearly.

* * *

It's been many weeks since the end of the second Keyblade War. Sora was gone now – not forever, no, but gone just the same. He had promised to return and we all wait anxiously for that day. However, that doesn't mean that we don't worry, that despite the days of playing around, laughing and having fun, we harbor a deep melancholy. The boy who saved us from an abyss of darkness, the boy who brought an end to Xehanort's evil machinations, the boy who connected the hearts of so many was no longer here, and nothing could fill the void that was created by his departure.

Every night I find himself dreaming of him – memories, _his _memories: the dumb games he played with his two best friends, the moment he met Donald and Goofy (I never mentioned it to him, or anyone, really, but I jokingly refer to this particular trio as 'The Lads'), many of his adventures streamed past my eyes, all the moments – big and small – that made him smile, laugh, cry, everything that made him feel, I saw it all. This, however, also meant that I saw and felt those moments that he'd rather forget. The icy chill that ran down his spine when Riku mocked and belittled him, taking both his Keyblade and friends in Hollow Bastion; the profound longing for Riku and Kairi, not knowing whether the former was even of this world anymore; the sheer terror and grief he felt as he watched Davey Jones stab Will Turner. Sora had experienced a great deal (more than most) but death and loss is something no one truly gets used to, not even someone as extraordinary as him; no especially not him, with a heart as big as his, death would be all the more painful.

I often find myself ruminating on the time I spent with him, and a part of me wishes to go back. I was safe there, safe from any pain or doubt; everything was filtered through him and when it reached me, it was never overwhelming, only the most profound and intense experiences truly reached me deep in his heart. The warmth of his light gave me comfort, made me feel whole, despite my broken heart, I was complete when I was with him. I'm whole now… but I don't feel as if I am.

* * *

Ambling through the halls of the castle in the Land of Departure, I wish to feel relieved, to feel overwhelmed with joy, to feel whole again but all I feel is a sense of longing for what was my home for a long time. I tell myself, 'No, Ventus, this is your home! With Aqua and Terra. All three of us are family, we've been separated for so long, all we've wanted is to be together; this is my home.' I don't find myself disagreeing with this, but rather I begin to wonder, do I really want to be home? Or would I rather be in the place I felt the most secure? It's selfish, to want to go back, to leave Aqua and Terra after everything they have been through. I know it is but I can't help feeling this way.

After spending so much time away from them, I found myself gravitating towards them naturally. A primal instinct that sought comfort and affection from them at every turn. We met every day at the dinner table, reminiscing of days long past, chatting and laughing till we're practically wheezing; I truly cherish these moments, these altogether short moments that help us reconnect. But these moments also give me insight into my two friends. I see him retract his hand whenever someone else's gets too close, afraid of being touched, or perhaps afraid of touching us; I see her mumbling something to herself, taking deep breaths, calming herself down or perhaps reassuring herself that everything around her is real. They're hurt, broken, and it will take a great deal of time and love to mend and heal. I, too, am like them: broken and hurt. And I feel the only way for me to be 'fixed' is to give it all up and return back to him.

'And leave them?! Haven't they been alone for too long? Haven't they been through just as much as you, if not more? They deserve – need! – the support and love of a friend. That's what he would do for his friends, and we need to honor him by doing the same.'

'But… when all is said and done, even if they're whole again, will I ever be able to let go of the comfort and safety I felt when I was a part of him? Will I always have to remain broken in order for them to feel whole?'

These thoughts haunt me, day in and day out. I feel selfish and ungrateful, so much was sacrificed to bring me back, and here I am longing for what many would consider to be a prison. I want to talk to them about this, I want to tell them how I feel, I want them to tell me what I should do; should I just soldier on and hope that time will eventually fix me, that one day I'll wake up and feel like an actual person again. Will they understand what I'm even feeling or saying? I don't doubt that they won't do everything they can to help me (It's hard to believe that there was ever a point where I doubted the love they had for me) but what I need, more than anything else, is to feel that the one heart I have is enough.

* * *

The clocks chime 12 times, it's midnight and I find myself wide awake. I had spent the day training with Terra and Aqua; Terra taught me a few Keyblade maneuvers that make use of my speed, while Aqua continued to train me in magic, helping me expand my magical arsenal and improve what I already know (I know from his memories that Thundaga is a truly devastating spell that comes in handy when dealing with a large horde). They're both stern teachers but the training is never too rigorous, perhaps they worry for my physical well-being, a young boy who woke after more than a decade of sleep would most likely be very groggy, if not altogether incapable of any kind of movement. Therefore despite a full day of training, I don't feel tired. Maybe that's why I'm sitting in my room, staring at the bookshelf, wondering to myself: despite being home, despite being with the people I've longed to be with for the past decade, I still feel distant, I still feel as if I'm not really here; will I ever _really _be here, or will I continue to just… float and glide through my days.

A gentle breeze comes through the open window, caressing my face, breaking my train of thought; I'm thankful that it did. I close the window, deciding that it'd be best if I get some sleep, but before I can lay down and tuck myself in, I notice, under the pale moonlight, something scattered on the floor. I chuckle to myself as I realize what it is I'm looking at: the reward given to me by an elderly but amicable duck, the lifetime passes to Disney Town. I chuckle at the sight of them, remembering how excited I was when I received them; visiting the world and taking part in the Dream Festival, all the fun they could have had – can still have!

It just hit me that these are 'lifetime' passes, and we can still go. I don't know why I'm so excited about this, why I'm almost shaking with anticipation. Perhaps the idea of finally fulfilling a decade old wish without anything holding us back is simply too good to pass by. Perhaps this is what I need, a chance to truly reconnect with Terra and Aqua, a day where we can just let loose, have fun and forget everything. Or maybe it can just be a momentary distraction, something to take my mind off Sora. Or perhaps I really want to try some more of Huey, Dewey and Louie's ice cream.

That night, for the first time in the longest time, I found myself dreaming of something under than Sora, of race tracks, ice cream and fruitball; of an extravagant castle in the distance, of a colorful and stunning world, and of all the fun times to be had.

Too bad I couldn't remember any of it once I woke up.


	2. Part 1: Terra

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Disney and Square Enix.**

**I would like to take this moment and show my appreciation and gratitude for the people who took the time to read the first chapter. I am grateful for all the people who are now following the story, I hope that I am able to entertain you all for the foreseeable future and that my story continues to hold your attention and interest. If there's anything you feel I'm not doing particularly well, please, do not hesitate to tell me, all constructive criticism is welcomed.**

**Also, to avoid any confusion, the story will be written in the point of views of all 3 characters. The first chapter focused on Ventus, this chapter will focus on Terra, and the following chapter will feature Aqua.**

**Enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

It's an odd thing, to know that your strength is yours and yours alone. I have spent the last decade living as a marionette, the strings pulling me this way or that way; the strings superseded my own will, the strings being an extension of the puppeteer's will, Xehanort's will. Every time I moved, my mind reeled and was left in shambles, for it was not my intention to move, it was not my intention to raise _his _Keyblade, it wasn't my intention to strike down all those innocent people, and it surely wasn't my will to continue being his slave. After a certain point, I made an attempt to let go of all physical sensations, segregate my mind from my body, preserving my will in whatever way I could; it worked… somewhat. I didn't feel my mind take part in an uphill battle against the string master's pull – something that brought me mild relief – but I still felt a certain numbness. I didn't resist the pull of the strings because the strings, wound so tight around my muscles, cut off all blood flow, so to speak. I was in a state of suspended animation, my body was dull and in a constant state of unfeeling lethargy; however, my mind was fully aware of it, it knew, that despite not feeling my arm moving in a slashing manner, despite not feeling my hands around her neck, despite not feeling anything, that I still did all those horrible things, committed all manner of unspeakable atrocities, and, even though it was never my intention to do those things, my body was guilty of doing it nonetheless.

In many worlds it is argued, in the case of legal definitions, that a person is wholly guilty of committing a crime when an illegal action is backed by an intention to commit said action. However, it is also argued that a person is still guilty of a crime even if there is no malicious intent present for the illegal act, though the punishment is far less severe, the perpetrator is still expected to be sanctioned… So why is it that I have been exonerated for all my past deeds? A reasonable person would say that the ventriloquist can't blame the puppet for his crimes, so how could anyone blame me for what Xehanort forced me to do? The answer is simple: they don't blame me. I know they don't, so why is it that I still feel such immense guilt? I know for a fact that I didn't want to do those things, that I tried, in my own way, to fight off his control, that, when given the right push (by a spiky haired boy), I was able to finally set myself free and fight alongside everyone else against the puppeteer.

I know all of this, and yet, I can't shake the feeling that I am as guilty as any one of Xehanort's hooded copies.

* * *

When I was finally set free, the joy I felt in that brief moment was overshadowed by the wave of relief and euphoria I was hit with when I saw Ventus and Aqua. I couldn't help myself, I had to hold them in my arms, I had to look them in the eyes and see for myself that they were, in fact, really there. Back in the days – back before the strings – I would make sure that these two never see me shed a tear (call it machismo or an overt sense of masculinity) as I always wanted them to regard me as the 'tough' one, the one they could lean on; all those thoughts be damned because in this one moment, in this small moment where the world was only the size of the two people in front of me, I honestly couldn't care less if they see me weep and bawl like a baby. However, once the moment was over, once the world returned to its true size, and they had left my arms, I felt as if my limbs were burning, a sharp stinging feeling took hold of me and I had to clutch my arms tightly to make the feeling go away. At the time I thought that perhaps after regaining _complete _control of my body after so many years, it would simply be a while before I could feel normal and at home; that, unfortunately, is not the case.

I had realized that this feeling never manifested itself whenever I was by myself. The all too familiar sense of dullness is what I felt when I was by my lonesome, but when I was with them, whenever they came too close, the stinging feeling would return and I would be forced to take a step back, a step away from them. They would notice this, of course, the raising of their eyebrows a clear indicator, but they would never probe me for answers – maybe they made the same assumption as me and are giving me the space they think I need. The truth of the matter is, however, that my mind and body are rejecting them, not out of spite or disgust for them, but rather for myself. My mind is fully aware of all that happened while I was one with Xehanort, and my body remembers everything (muscle memory is not something so easily lost). So I pull back from them, from their gentle and loving touches because I know, for a fact, that I can't – shouldn't – touch or be touched by them, because I was Xehanort, I left Aqua in the Realm of Darkness, I broke Ven's heart, and I am a monster who got off scot-free.

* * *

It's been a few weeks since the end of the second Keyblade War (a war I played a major part in orchestrating). The three of us have, to a certain extent, formed a routine that we can collectively refer to as the 'new normal': Aqua and I have taken up the task of training Ventus – I train him in combat whereas Aqua trains him in magic; we occasionally visit other worlds in search for potential Keyblade wielders, we wander those worlds and spend the time there partaking in amicable chatter, and simply taking in the sights and activities of the unique world; we come back home, eat, rest, and start the day anew. It works for us.

Even though I've taken up the task as Ventus's new instructor, I have made sure never to engage him directly. I guide and coach him, demonstrating to him the proper stances, the various forms of attack; I've also made sure that I focus my teachings on what works best for him. Ven's greatest strength is his agility and it's in his best interest to learn techniques that make use of his quickness. The time Ven spent with Sora clearly influenced how he fights: he moves with the finesse and impetuousness of an overly enthusiastic child, reactionary in his fighting style, a fluidity in his movements that matches a scrap of paper moving unpredictably in the wind. It's mesmerizing… but also sloppy. This kind of style has its place – and it clearly served Sora well – but it won't be appropriate in every situation. So I teach him to be better. However, I do question the efficacy of my methods as I don't physically interact with him during our lessons. A lot would be made clear to him if I were to guide his hands and arms, engage him in battle and let him see the full effect of the techniques being taught, but I can't do it. Every time I get close to him I feel my arms sting and I force myself away from him, a small gap between us at all times. A gap a meter in length, and yet it feels so much larger.

The gap between us has become a constant in my life, but it is most prevalent when all three of us gather at the dinner table. It starts out fine enough: we chat about Ven's progress, taking the occasional jab at his shortcomings, Ventus pouts and tries retorting but often fails at his attempts at being witty; we then reminisce about the days before… well, before everything. About the time when I first learned Blizzard and would use it to create ice pops that Aqua and I would add syrup onto (Master Eraqus would often scold us for ruining our appetite this way), or the times Aqua would pull the occasional prank as a way of getting back at me for whatever I had done to upset her. These stories always had us laughing, practically wheezing; Aqua would then try to tap my shoulder good naturedly, and that slight touch would have me reeling back, hissing in discomfort. She would pull back her hand, her countenances clearly displaying surprise, sadness and disappointment. I would attempt to shrug it off by simply saying that she caught me off guard, adding in a low chuckle for good measure; I doubt that it works but it's enough for now.

The first day we shared a meal together, Ven had asked me to pass him a bowl of gravy. I had obliged and proffered him the bowl, but when his hands grabbed the bowl, the tips of his fingers barely grazed my hand and the stinging sensation returned and I, in my shock, it. I cringed when it crashed onto the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Ven was quick to take the blame, and even quicker to head out of the room to get the items needed to clean up the mess – my mess. We all played it off as an accident, but it's obvious, looking at them, that they know that _something _had caused me to drop it.

Couple these small moments with the 'gap' and it was blatantly obvious that there was something wrong with me. That I went out of my way to keep my distance, to ensure that they and I do not interact in any physical way. Why? Because I can't touch them, I shouldn't touch them. Every time I look at them, all I can imagine is Aqua, alone and hurt in the Realm of Darkness, and Ventus, lifeless and limp, stuck in a deep sleep that he may never have awoken from. And who's to blame? Principally, Xehanort, but I was a key factor. I was the one who gave into the darkness in the first place, I was the one who sought power so desperately that I played into the hands of the most foul man and struck down my own master – my father – in the heat of battle; there will always be blood on my hands, and as much as they try to tell me that it isn't there, as much as I try myself to wash and scrub it away, it will always be present. The stench and sight of it will forever haunt me.

* * *

The clocks chime twelve times and I find myself wide awake. Lying dead still in my bed, I look up at the ceiling, flashes of the life I lived but didn't control pervading my vision. Hidden underneath all the self-hatred and loathing, there lies another reason for why the simple act of touching repels me. I was, for all intents and purposes, violated. My body was turned into a toy, my will was subjugated and I was used for _his_ plans. I was a marionette, and the memory of being one frightens and disgusts me. More than anything else, I'm afraid of being used in that way again. I'm afraid of being hugged, caressed and touched in any way, because it all reminds me of the strings, of the slight tugs that would lift my arms, of his will that forced and compelled me to act in ways I would never myself allow; I would be reminded of how his will coaxed my body to move and act in ways I would never want it to. The stinging belies the truth: that I am a broken man who's afraid that even the slightest touch, even if it carries with it only love and affection, may break me, and I don't have the strength or the _will_ to fix myself.

I curl up into a ball and weep, no sense of machismo to be found, in this moment of privacy, all I am is a broken and cast away toy.

Perhaps, tomorrow will be a better day.


	3. Part 1: Aqua

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Disney and Square Enix. **

* * *

It's an odd thing, to have the sun shining above you but feel no warmth, to have tears roll down your face but feel nothing stir within you, to be held by those closest to you and not know for certain whether this gentle but profound feeling in the pit of your chest is actually real, or if it's merely a last ditch effort by your mind to provide itself with some respite, provide itself with a chance to be distracted from the doubt and despondency that has plagued it for years and years.

There was a glimmer of hope, deep within the recesses of my heart, tucked away in the tiniest crevice, the smallest alcove, buried underneath a mound of impenetrable darkness and misery. If someone were to assess the situation critically and logically, there was no conceivable way for that small, luminescent bead of light to still exist under so much negativity and dejection; yet, there it was. It was that small hope that allowed me to traverse through the Realm of Darkness without succumbing to its suffocating hold. What I hoped for was this: to return home and be reunited with the two boys that meant everything to me, the two boys whom I had sacrificed so much for. Somehow or another, I hoped that someone (maybe Mickey) would be able to come back and help me escape. I consider myself to be a proud person – more so after I achieved the rank of Keyblade Master – but pride is not something to hold onto when the lives of others are at risk, so I didn't mind being the damsel in this situation, as long as I was freed from Hell and could return to the world of light to wake Ven and look for Terra, it didn't matter one bit.

And saved I was, but to my surprise it wasn't Mickey who came to my rescue, rather it was a familiar boy with outrageous hair, wielding my late master's Keyblade. In that particular moment, the task of 'saving' me had another layer to it: it wasn't enough to just take me out of the Realm of Darkness but also to cleanse me of the darkness that had made its way in. I had been corrupted, the cold tendrils of the dark realm had wrapped themselves around me, dragged me into the bottomless abyss and had further buried that small glimmer of hope. I had become cold, angry – livid – and was fueled with nothing but rage and a desire to pass it onto whoever I could!

The boy – Sora – fought me tooth and nail, with his commendable command over magic and an impressive arsenal of techniques that aided him greatly in combat. Eventually, through sheer will, he bested me, and it seemed, for an agonizingly long moment, that this would be the end for me. But then he reached down and pulled me back up; and when I opened my eyes, I was momentarily blinded by the radiant rays of the sun, my legs cushioned by the soft sand of the beach, a faint gust of wind providing me with mild comfort. I thought that Destiny Islands had fallen into the Realm of Darkness – the small glimmer of hope was buried so deep that even I was unable to retrieve it, but he was able to when everyone else failed. I looked at him and my heart was filled with warmth. That was the last time I felt as if the world was truly real.

However, since then, things have been far more complicated.

* * *

Some weeks had passed since the end of the second Keyblade War, a few weeks since Sora had departed from all the worlds. We all now wait with bated breaths, hoping for his return.

Terra, Ventus and I had returned home, to the Land of Departure. Without the Master the castle felt… empty. Although the Master wasn't a very loquacious man, nor was he one to make needless noise, he still filled the castle with some sound, either that of rigorous training, or the flipping of pages, or the sounds of admonishment (None of us were exactly the ideal student). Despite the apparent presence of three people, the castle simply felt less than what it was before. The eerie quiet reminds me of the desolate castle near the Dwarf Woodlands within the Realm of Darkness. It's bleak, dour walls filled with a piercing calm that beckons dread into the hearts of whoever finds themselves unfortunate enough to visit it. That's an apt way of describing me: unfortunate enough. Unfortunate enough to watch the two who mattered most to me taken away, unfortunate enough to save one of them from the Realm of Darkness at the cost of myself, unfortunate enough to have a chance to escape but compelled to sacrifice myself again, and unfortunate enough to break apart when it seemed light was just on the horizon. I was _unfortunate enough_ to be reminded of such a place, despite the fact that I was in a place so much more pleasant, housing hundreds of precious memories. Even here, in the Master's study...

'_Wait… when did I come into the Master's study? This is the Master's study, isn't it? I was heading back to my room, I know I was. I wanted to wash up after training Ven; it's almost dinner time._

_What time is it?'_

I look at the large grandfather clock and gasp. More than 2 hours had gone by since the end of the training session. I didn't understand what was going on, how could I lose track of that much time, and how did I end up here? Once I made my way out of the study, I found a frantic Terra and Ven in the grand hall. They were relieved to see me. They inquired about where I was, informed me that they had gone looking for me but couldn't find a trace. They hadn't suspected that I'd be in the Master's study, seeing as neither one of us frequented the room often, especially not after the Master's passing. I didn't want to worry them further so I excused my actions by telling them that I wanted to spend some time with the Master, even if it was through his material possessions. They believed me and requested that I tell them beforehand so that they don't needlessly worry over me. I chuckle affably at their concern and reassure them that this won't happen again.

This happened on the second day of our return to the Land of Departure. And it wasn't the last incident of its kind.

* * *

My memories are scattered, to say the least. What I've noticed, however, is that these 'gaps' only occur when I'm seemingly by myself. I can recall all the time I've spent with Ven and Terra, and questioning them confirmed to me that I had not been with them at any point during one of these gaps. I pondered on the possible explanation for this and finally reached a conclusion. Although I'm out of the Realm of Darkness, although I factually know that I'm no longer stuck there, my mind has not fully come to terms with the jarring change. It seems, much to my dismay and chagrin, that my mind has assumed that all the time I spend with Terra and Ven is nothing more than a hallucination, akin to the times I saw them in the Realm of Darkness. When I'm not with them, my grip on reality loosens and my mind tries desperately to preserve itself; in other words, without actual, tangible proof of my egress from the Real of Darkness, my mind is unable to cope with its surroundings and _shuts down_.

Paradoxically, I find myself the most relaxed and the most agitated during dinner time. Having a pleasant meal with Terra and Ventus, regaling each other with various anecdotes. I start telling them – Ven more than Terra – about the time when me and Terra were 10 and decided to play a game of hide 'n' seek. Terra was 'it' and had to count to 20 while I hid. I deftly climbed a nearby tree and hid on one of the upper branches, hidden behind the leaves and boughs. Using my location as a vantage point, I kept watch over the perplexed brunette. Making use of the 'aero' magic I had recently acquired, I would cast it down, making the foliage rise and fall, making certain objects shift, generally creating noise or faking movement to further confuse Terra. The boy, growing angrier and more frustrated with each passing second, eventually called the game off, accusing me of cheating and, with a huff, left for the castle. I climbed down and giggled as I stalked my way towards him, bopping him on the top of his head. He pouted at me angrily, which only made me giggle even more. A part of me wishes that Terra hadn't grown up so much, or at the very least hadn't gotten so good at handling his temper. The boyish petulance was so endearing.

My story had the intended effect as Ven was grinning from ear to ear, reveling in the thought of Terra being so easy to tease and trick. We all shared an affable laugh. I reached out to pat Terra on the shoulder (a part of me, for no explicable reason, needed confirmation on him actually being there) but when my hand got close, Terra hissed and backed away. I quickly bring my hand back and looked at him worriedly. He assured me that there was nothing wrong, that my action had simply caught him off guard; I knew that wasn't the case. It hadn't escaped my attention that Terra had been distant ever since we came home. He recoiled from any physical contact, always maintaining a short distance between us.

I would think that Ventus knew about his odd behavior as well but I couldn't be certain, because Ventus, too, acted somewhat strangely. Often I would find him with a dazed look in his eyes, as if he was staring at something far away. I questioned him about this, his only response being that he simply wasn't used to being awake yet. I could never pry anything more out of him. Even now, he suddenly had that look in his eyes again, as if he wasn't really here. Looking from a disconcerted Terra to a non-present Ventus, I resorted to a habit I had formed in these past few weeks: that of repeating a simple phrase over and over. I bring my hands close to my chest, near my heart so I could feel it beat and recited, 'This is real.'

Master Eraqus had explained to us that repetition is the path to perfection. Only be repeating an action over and over can one master it. I had taken this lesson to heart and applied it even now. Maybe if I kept telling myself that all of this is, in fact, real then my mind will finally believe it to be so. I fail to notice the pair of concerned eyes staring at me as I do so.

* * *

The clocks chime twelve times, it is midnight and I find myself wide awake. I had stayed with Ven and Terra for some time after we had finished our meals. We simply sat there and talked, enjoying the ambience created by our mere presence. Eventually Terra excused himself, leaving only Ven and I. The two of us continued to idly chat until Ven, too, excused himself. I suppose that I'm still conscious of what is going on around me because it was only a short while ago that this all happened. Perhaps the loneliness hasn't sunk in yet and my mind hasn't resorted to its fail safe yet.

I lay there in my bed, staring at the shards of broken glass that lay stacked in the corner of the room. I grimace when I remember how it happened: the first few days I had spent back home had been tiresome. I found myself unable to sleep, a gnawing feeling in the back of my head preventing me from doing so; it was as if I was being watched, goosebumps would form on the nape of my neck. On the 3rd night, I had grown tired of this and looked at my surroundings, trying to understand what was causing this. My eyes eventually landed on the vanity. I moved closer to it, staring at my own reflection.

'Great, I'm afraid of my own reflection now.' I thought darkly. But, in my defense, it seemed that I had good reason to be afraid, as my reflection stared at me with those yellow eyes, and I could feel a cold hand grab hold of me.

"You'll never escape!" it yelled at me. I called forth my Keyblade and smashed the mirror.

I wonder, why is it that the heart is considered to be the most powerful weapon a person can wield, when the mind is capable of so much destruction?

* * *

**A/N: The reason why I'm writing the story in this style (shifting from one character's perspective to another) is an homage to Birth by Sleep, plus it gives me ample room to really focus on them individually. I plan on writing like this for the next set (3) of chapters, however, after that I'm not sure whether I should stick to this format. **

**I would appreciate some feedback on the narrative style, and whether I should stick with it all the way through. Thank you in advance and I hope all of you continue to enjoy the story.**


	4. Part 2: Ventus

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Disney and Square Enix.**

**Once more, I would like to thank everyone who has followed and favorite-d this story, it means a lot to me that all derive some form of pleasure from reading this. I really hope you enjoy this chapter as it's the first one to feature dialogue between the characters (dialogue that I enjoyed writing). The next two chapters will feature, like before, Terra and Aqua's perspectives, respectively, however the conversation that you'll read here will be truncated in those chapters (no need to rewrite the same conversation over and over). Please feel free to comment any gripes you have with the story, or characters or dialogue, all constructive criticism is welcomed. **

* * *

I can't say that I was as attuned to his surroundings as the other two (Roxas and Xion). In fact, outside of a handful of instances, I had no idea, not the faintest clue, what it is he experienced. Every so often a strong emotional sensation or a profound shock would break through the walls of the subconscious mind and reach the deepest part of his heart, where I resided. It would elicit a strong response from me, stirring my own broken heart into stepping out of the subconscious and into the conscious mind, where I would be inundated by a torrent of unending memories and visions; to say I was sometimes overwhelmed would be a gross understatement. Sora, of course, wasn't aware of me perusing through the annals of his mind – matter of fact, I don't think the other two were aware of my presence either.

Deep within his heart there was a light, far brighter than any I had ever encountered, radiating a warmth that would match the intensity of the sun above. Like a moth attracted to a flame, I was drawn to it and would seek shelter near it. The sense of security I felt curled up next to his light was so great and so comforting that all other sensations simply couldn't compare. It was because of this that it took such a powerful external force to pry me away from it. One occasion, in particular, compelled me to act in a way I never thought I would have to while in the confines of his heart. It was when Xehanort tried to subjugate his heart in an attempt to turn him into one of his 13 vessels. When the subjugation process began I had immediately noticed that the light didn't exude the same warmth as it normally did. There was a steady diminution in the light's radiance, a glaring indicator that something was terribly wrong and that, if nothing was done, would spell the demise of Sora, the demise of the light I had come to depend on so considerably.

_Huh, I wonder… did I try to protect Sora in that instance for his sake, or was I simply trying to protect the light that gave me so much comfort? Were my actions, in that moment, wholly altruistic or were they entirely self-serving? _

Regardless of why I had done what I had done, the point was that the actions I took were the only ones of its kind: I had left the safe borders of his heart and had acted of my own volition. For the first time in years had I acted as a person with a mind and heart of my own. I was behooved to act in such a manner, for the sake of self-preservation or for the sake of protecting a boy who had given me shelter, I don't know; all I know is that it had resulted in the light returning, albeit slightly darker than what it was before.

I chuckle darkly at the realization that I had grown dependent on Sora. I needed him to comfort me, to keep me safe, to solve all the problems that had accumulated in our lifetimes. And what's astonishing is that, he did it – he had successfully provided me with a safe haven, had restored my heart, reunited me with Terra and Aqua, and had thwarted the schemes of Xehanort. I suppose that the choice I made all those years to ago to take refuge in his heart had been correct… but now that I was free I realized that there had been one flaw in this arrangement: I had grown so accustomed to Sora taking the reins, to Sora being the one who primarily felt everything, to Sora being the one to take charge, that I had grown complacent. My thoughts and feelings were a reflection of Sora's, what he chose to do I accepted; I was no longer a man with his own thoughts and feelings, I was merely an extension of Sora's, incapable of true cognition, subservient to his beliefs and thoughts. Obsequiously I went along with everything he did, to me it didn't matter as long as the light in his heart continued to radiate that same warmth, I would be as sycophantic as he needed me to be.

Now, however, I'm out. That light is gone. I stand here at the precipice of my own conscious and subconscious mind, the beating in my heart is mine and mine alone; all actions I take henceforth are done at my own behest. It's not something you get used to immediately (it's arguable that someone can never truly be used to such freedom and independence), partly due to the doubt and anxiety that creep into your mind when you find yourselves at a crossroads. Sora always knew which road to follow, and I was like the leaf that was swept away by the wind, I had no say in the matter. Now the wind has no hold over me, I am free to move and act however I please; and the thought scares me to death.

* * *

Finding those passes after so long must be an act of providence. I was excited, practically giddy, by the idea that I could, even for a day, not be 'the boy whom Sora sheltered' (a bitter epithet I had given myself) and just be Ventus, Keyblade Master in training, friend to Aqua and Terra.

The moment I got up, I pulled out the Gummiphone and called Jiminy Cricket. After a few rings, the screen on the device presented the aforementioned cricket.

"My, oh my, Ventus! It is an absolute pleasure to hear from you." Jiminy politely greeted. From the looks of it, Jiminy was sitting atop a study desk, near him was a miniature ink pot with a proportionately sized ink quill nestled in it. I was quick to comment on it. "Hey, Jiminy. I thought you used the Gummiphone to make all your notes now?"

Jiminy raised his eyebrows but then smiled in understanding, slightly chuckling. "Well, every now and then I feel drawn to the parchment and quill. Times sure do change and one has to change with them, doesn't mean we can't revisit the old ways every now and then." He explained with an amused grin. "Now, may I inquire why you're calling me so early in the day? If you're anything like Sora, I imagine you're not exactly a morning person." He asked in good humor, however unbeknownst to him, the mere mention of Sora reminds me of the light I'm trying so vehemently to distance myself from. However, unlike Sora, I don't wear my heart on my sleeves so the sadness within me is not evident on my countenances.

"Well, I found these passes, you see, I got them as a gift from this man I helped a long time ago. He said that these were lifetime passes for the Dream Festival; I wanted to know when the Dream Festival is gonna take place? I'm not even sure if these really are lifetime passes or if the old man was just tricking me…" I dejectedly comment the last part. Jiminy seems to pick up on this and asks me to show him the passes; I do as he says.

"Well, it seems fortune is smiling down on you, Ventus. These, in fact, ARE lifetime passes. What's more, the festival is only a few days away!"

"Really?!"

"Indeed. Why, the whole town is hustling and bustling, making preparations for the festival. You see, King Mickey has been unable to attend the festival for quite some time – busy with so many other things, as you know – so this is the first time in quite a while that he gets to oversee and attend the festival. The townsfolk feel a bit more pressured than usual to make this festival something really special." He finishes with a flourish, clearly the town's enthusiasm and passion had affected him as well, as he almost seemed to be buzzing with excitement.

"That sounds great, Jiminy. I have three passes, so I thought Terra, Aqua and I could come by. I'd been there once before and had a great time. I really just want all three of us to just have fun, you know?" Some of the enthusiasm was beginning to get to me as well.

Jiminy nods in understanding. "I understand. Now that there's no longer any battles to fight, nor any dark forces to engage, the only thing left to do is live life to the fullest. At least that's what a humble ol' cricket thinks." He pauses for a brief second before continuing. "… and I'm sure Sora would want all of us to enjoy ourselves, too." A hint of melancholy had squirmed its way into the conversation. Despite the fact that none of us have even the slightest doubt that Sora will one day return, his absence is not something that can be easily ignored.

"I know, Jiminy… Thanks for telling me. I hope to see you at the festival, 'kay?"

"Oh yes, of course. I look forward to seeing you, Terra and Aqua again. No matter the circumstances, it's always a pleasure to see a friendly, familiar face." After we bid each other farewell, I sauntered my way out of my room and into the dining hall.

* * *

Perched on their seats, I find the other two residents of the Land of Departure chatting comfortably with each other, however, I noticed that both of them had bags under their eyes, a telltale sign of lack of sleep. They notice me approaching.

"Mornin', sleepyhead, was just about to get you." Terra greeted me while Aqua simply smiled.

"Did you sleep well?" she inquired in a tone that could singularly be described as motherly.

"Yeah, but it looks like you two didn't. What's up?" I asked them as I sat down. The two of them frown slightly at my question, looking at each other. Their brows furrow as they look at each other and, realization dawning on them, find that both of them had displayed their sleepless night on their very faces. It seems that neither of them had taken notice of the other's exhausted form, perhaps too exhausted themselves to pick up on such detail.

"Just… one of those nights, I guess." Terra lamely provided an explanation, one that Aqua seemed to share. "Yeah, every now and then you find yourself unable to sleep. I was up tossing and turning all night long, probably wasn't tired enough." Aqua added with a light laugh, both trying to appease my curiosity. Whatever kept them up, it was clearly something neither of them wanted to talk about, so I decided to drop it (I also wanted them in a fairly good mood before I make my request).

"I see. Well, I hope you two rest up properly because you're gonna need every bit of energy for what's coming up!" The two eye me curiously, wondering what had me so enthused so early in the morning.

"And what exactly will require so much energy and vivacity. Believe me, training someone like you already takes everything out of us." Terra points to himself and Aqua, wasting no opportunity to taunt me in some way.

"Terra, be nice." Aqua almost swats his arm with the back of her hand but stops right before making contact, quickly retracting her hand and placing it firmly on her chest. Terra doesn't notice and scoffs at her light reprimand. "What should we be looking forward to, Ven?" Aqua questions sweetly.

"I don't know if you guys remember but back in the day, you know, before… everything…" The two nod solemnly in understanding, communicating to me with their eyes that I should continue. "Well, you remember these?" I pull out the lifetime passes, feeling somewhat nervous as I place them on the table.

Both Terra and Aqua scan the objects placed before them. The objects seemed familiar to them, however they couldn't place a finger on when and where exactly they had seen them; until a light bulb flashed above Aqua's head. "I remember this: you said you'd gotten these from someone, lifetime passes to the Dream Festival in Disney Town."

"Oh yeah, now I remember. You needed 'two grown-ups' with you to go." Terra stated mockingly. I huff in exasperation, Terra was clearly reveling in his childish teasing. "You were so cute when you asked us to go." Aqua stated, unwittingly adding to my embarrassment, which amused Terra further.

"Yeah, Ven, you were just the _cutest_!" Terra was deriving far too much pleasure from this.

"Yeah, well, what's wrong with wanting to go a festival with my best friends?!" I stated with a pout and a huff, feeling indignation at their teasing. A serene smile makes its way onto the other occupants of the table.

"Ven…" Aqua was almost cooing my name, clearly touched by my affectionate declaration.

"Jeez, Ven, you don't need to be so grumpy about it. We'd love to go. When is it, anyway?" Terra asked.

Seeing the two of them enthusiastic about the idea lit a fire inside me and the excitement began to boil until it eventually started to leak out.

"It's only a few days away. I talked with Jiminy and he says that it's gonna be extra special this time around 'cause the King is going to be attending! I really want us to go, and if the King's there then most likely Donald and Goofy are gonna be there, too." I hadn't realized that I'd be so ecstatic by the thought of seeing those two. I had personally only talked with them a couple of times, and although I consider them friends, I wouldn't say they're people I would be so excited to meet. _Perhaps they remind me of Sora's light, other than Kairi and Riku, those two are the ones that had the biggest place in his heart. _

"And… I just want us to have fun, y'know? Like, I don't want us to just spend all our time doing official Keyblade wielder stuff. I just want us to… make up for all the time we've lost." My excitement had dissipated, in its stead there was now poignancy.

"Ven…" Terra began but was promptly cut off by Aqua. "I know that nothing we do can ever make up for the time we lost… so we need to utilize the now as much as we can. We'll make a full day of it; we'll leave early in the morning so we can get there just as the festival's about to begin." Aqua smiled at me, trying to comfort me with her very presence; it worked. Her light, though not as bright and comforting as Sora's, was still something that quelled my anxiety.

"Then it's settled. All three of us will head to Disney Town and have a great time." Terra lifted his glass of orange juice, wanting to toast to the occasion. Aqua laughs as she raises her glass as well. "Here, here."

I smile gratefully as I, too, raise my glass. "Thanks, guys." The clinking of glasses follows.

* * *

My gratitude is immeasurable, those two were willing to go with my abrupt requests; _those two really are the best_. However, now back in my own room, I contemplate on what I said to them. I had told them that the reason I wanted us to go was so we could spend some time together, laughing and having fun – and that's true – but that's not the primary reason. What I need right now, more than anything else, is to feel whole again. Although in my heart there is nothing but light (Vanitas took all the darkness with him), it didn't shine as bright as I needed it to. To compensate for what was left behind by Sora's departure, I need more. I need the light within Aqua and Terra to shine down on me, to fill me with the same warmth that his did.

_I sound so pathetic. It doesn't even matter that the light is of Aqua and Terra's; any light would do! My own isn't enough so I seek the light of others. In my time with Sora I've grown to become so weak, so needy and dependent, I'm like a spoiled child who was refused his treat. How can I keep functioning like this? I can't keep relying on others to make me feel whole, my own heart, my own light is enough… it should be enough._

But it isn't. Not after experiencing the brilliance of his light, mine is nothing more than the cinder of a tiny flame.

Having so many parts of you ripped away time after time leaves very little behind; and what's left is just a heart, mended yet still broken.


	5. Part 2: Terra

**Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is the property of Disney and Square Enix.**

**With the last chapter, this story now has over a 1,000 views. I'm thankful to everyone who takes the time to read, review or follow, I'm truly appreciative of your support. This is the longest chapter by far, I'm not sure if the next one (Aqua's) will be as long, I never know how things go when I start writing. **

**I hope that my writing is able to illustrate exactly what these characters are going through as that is my aim, to really flesh out these characters and elaborate on the possible trauma they may be suffering from. If any of you feel I'm doing something poorly, or if you have any issues with my writing, please feel free to comment, I welcome all constructive criticism.**

* * *

The clocks chime three times, it was the middle of the night and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. I tossed and turned, my hair disheveled from the restless motion, the sheets had been thrown off the bed a little over an hour ago; this, sadly, is not something out of the ordinary for me these days. I oft find myself in a state of restlessness, not full blown insomnia but an inability to sleep on a regular basis. Every now and then I'm able to squeeze in a few hours, enough to not hinder my daily duties or to cause lethargy or fatigue. As cumbersome as this newfound routine is, it'd be far more troublesome to have Aqua and Ven fret over my well-being and try to worry over my health, or worse, try to help or nurse me in some way. As much as I cherish the time we spend together there's a certain line I – nor they – can ever cross: we can't ever touch. After everything I've been through, the possession, the violation, Xehanort's complete and utter disregard for my will and consciousness, all of it has amounted to a near crippling fear of intimacy.

Xehanort took a great deal from me, but more than anything, what hurts most is that he took the bond the three of us shared and turned into… whatever this is. He took away my ability to tussle Ven's hair, he took away Aqua's ability to squeeze my shoulder when I'm feeling low, he took away Ven's ability to hug me whenever he's feeling particularly affectionate – I can never experience these actions again, every time I even think about these actions I feel disgust, and when I see the look of disappointment (and pity) in their faces when I flinch away from their caress, my heart throbs; I want to touch them, I want so much to feel their warmth and to know, physically, that they still love me.

_Heh, blame Xehanort, of course, it was his fault after all. It isn't as if I gave into the darkness, it wasn't as if I was a blind lamb who willingly followed the butcher to his shop. No, of course not, they forgive me so there's nothing to admonish myself over. _

These bitter thoughts pervade my mind, I can't fight against the gnawing sense of guilt that has become a constant in my life now. While it's true that Xehanort had been the mastermind behind all the atrocities that took place over the years, it is also true that none of his plans would have seen the light of day had I not fallen into his clutches so easily. I, in my arrogance, thought that the darkness could have no hold over me; and due to my anger I refused help, I refused to listen to the advice I should have heeded. Master Eraqus had been right in delegating the task of spying on me to Aqua. She was right in her assessment that I had slowly let the darkness seep into my heart, my actions prior to our meeting had exhibited just that. I could have listened, I could have gone back to the Land of Departure with her and discussed it with the Master, but no, I was far too conceited and blinded by rage to even consider that… I had been stupid enough to also reject Ven, the one person who gave me the benefit of the doubt, the one who, despite all the evidence to the contrary, continued to see the good in me. I pushed even him away.

_Master Xehanort may have been the one to set up the dominoes that led to the second Keyblade War, but I was the one who pushed the first one, toppling the rest. _

I rise up from my bed, rubbing my weary eyes. Striding over to the window, I open it with the hopes that the cool night air will do me good, perhaps the Sandman will have mercy on me and sprinkle me with sleeping dust I so desperately need. I take in a deep breath, the fragrance of the nearby orchids waft through, giving me a small reprieve from my self-deprecating thoughts. I gingerly open my eyes, gazing up at the full moon, its pale light illuminating the grounds below. My eyes catch the sight of the Master's Keyblade embedded into the ground as a makeshift gravestone; a trio of fireflies rest on top of the hilt.

I think back to a conversation I had with the Master many years ago, a talk that had left quite the impression on me…

* * *

_It had been a brutal training session. Master had begun the lesson early in the morning, a few hours after the sun had risen, and we (Aqua and I) haven't been given a break in several hours. It had been an exceptionally sweltering summer day, apparent from the sweat glistening off our faces as we sparred against one another. _

_Aqua is, without a doubt, an extraordinary Keyblade wielder; of course, being a student entails that there's room for improvement, however, despite the fact that she's still greatly limited in technique, she still demonstrates remarkable skill with the blade, moving with such fluidity and grace that one would confuse her movements in battle for a meticulously choreographed dance. Needless to say, I admire her greatly… but under the grueling sun, with my red and agitated skin, with my muscles sore and fatigued, right now I couldn't care less about how graceful or 'perfect' her movement came across, she was showing me up and I couldn't be more pissed. _

_I lunge forward, hoping that she'll block, my superior strength would be an advantage in a clash of blades. However, at the last possible second she cartwheels out of the way, I slip on the grass, staggering forward slightly. I'm able to compose myself but before I can turn around I feel a sharp pain in the back of my knee, forcing me to bend down. Aqua had taken full advantage of my position and had struck me in the leg, effectively minimizing my mobility. I swipe behind me, she jumps back, deftly dodging my attack. I stand up, my left leg wobbling. I'm breathing heavily, I'm forced to wipe the sweat off my eyelids intermittently. I look over and see her, poised and ready. Some of her hair is sticking to her forehead but despite that she still looks as regal and gallant as ever. _

"_Ready to give up?" She teases me, a playful smirk etched on her face. I'm sure she didn't mean to upset me with her comment but at this moment, I really wasn't in the mood for some playful banter. _

"_Shut up!" My sudden outburst caught her off guard as she raises her eyebrows in concern, consequently lowering her weapon; I don't dawdle. _

_Ignoring the pain in my leg, I dash forward and thrust my blade towards her. Aqua raises her blade and blocks. I continue my assault as I leave no room for her to dodge, forcing her to block each strike, tiring her out and waiting for an opening. With each strike or thrust, Aqua takes a step back, groans escaping her lips as she's unable to compete against my strength. Her arm was beginning to shake, clearly my assault was beginning to wear her down, her arm was most likely cramping up, her wrist must be aching in pain; eventually her grip on her blade loosens and I'm able to disarm her._

_But I don't stop there. _

_Before she's even able to register what's happened, I thrust my blade forward towards her abdomen. Realization hits me too late, I know that if this blow connects then Aqua might be seriously injured. Aqua's eyes widen in fear as she braces herself for the impact, however both our fears are alleviated when Master Eraqus deflects my blade with his own. Aqua is on the ground, breathing heavily as she stares at our master, and then to me. Right now, staring into her cerulean eyes, I only saw consternation. I hazard a look at the Master and see restrained anger; under his scrutinizing glare I couldn't help but feel intimidated, but that was overshadowed by the guilt I felt for what I had almost done. _

"_I'm so sorry!" That's all I could muster out before turning the other way and running. _

_For the next few hours I remain sequestered in my room, I couldn't bring myself to leave and confront the Master or Aqua. Why had I lost control? Why had I gotten so angry? We were just sparring, something we've done numerous times before, never have I acted in such a rash, unbridled way before. I wonder, if I can be so vicious in just a training scenario, how will I act when I'm facing off against an actual threat, in a more pressured environment? _

_A light knock takes me out of my thoughts. I bury my face deeper into my hands, hoping to block out the sounds, to block out whatever the person outside is about to say; it doesn't work. _

"_Terra, come see me in my study." The Master's calm voice surprises me. I hear him walk away as I tentatively get up and plod my way to the door. I breathe slowly as I exit my room, hastily walking past Aqua's, I don't have it in me to face her just yet. _

_I stand outside the Master's study, not sure on what to expect. "Come in, Terra." I stop myself from knocking as I hear him beckon me inside. I gulp and hold my breath as I head inside._

_Much to my surprise, the Master is calmly sitting on his chair, two cups of tea in front of him. "Sit down, Terra. Have some green tea, I added a bit of ginger, I know you prefer it that way." He pushes the cup towards me as I take a seat. I had expected him to yell at me, scold me, at the very least I expected him to be glaring at me, but instead of all of that he offers me tea. _

"_Um, thank you." I'm perturbed, to say the least, and judging by his chuckle, it's quite apparent. _

"_Calm down, Terra. I'm not here to scold you for your actions, although I am disappointed in what I saw today." My eyes move down, I can't blame him for feeling that way, how I acted was completely unbecoming of a Keyblade Master in training, at this moment I was nothing more than a peccant would-be warrior that deserved to be punished._

"_I know, Master, I'm ready to accept any punishment you wish to administer." _

"_Terra, look at me." I do as he says and I see him shaking his head (in disappointment or amusement, I can't tell). _

"_This is not a matter that can be solved through a mere sanction. Tell me, Terra…" He takes a sip from his cup "… why exactly had you acted in such an abrasive manner?"_

_I contemplate his question, I know that it's unlike me; I know that I can be temperamental at times but this was far more than just me slightly losing my temper, this was… "I'm not sure, Master. I was just… I was just so tired; Aqua was moving so elegantly even though I know she was as tired as me, it just rubbed me the wrong way. I just – hurt her, I wanted to hurt her because I didn't like how she was doing better than me. I hate myself for even thinking such a thing but I couldn't help it, I felt like all my training amounted to nothing because she was doing better than me despite going through the same training regime!" My temper was starting to flare. _

"_How can I become a Keyblade Master if I'm so easily beaten, so easily flustered? All it takes to make me act like an animal is a bit of heat?! Master, am I even worthy of wielding a Keyblade?" I dejectedly ask him, slumping into the chair. _

_The Master stares at me – no, he's observing me. He finishes his cup of tea, setting it down and observing me once more. "Terra, all beings are born with both light and darkness within their hearts. Even the most pious of men have a smidgen of darkness dwelling deep within them, likewise even the most evil of men can have some semblance of light. We Keyblade Wielders are chosen for this task, not because we are devoid of darkness but because we have the fortitude to not give into its dark embrace. Anger, hate, jealousy, these are all tools meant to drag you into the darkness."_

"_Something only someone weak would succumb to." I contemptuously interject. _

"_No, Terra! Everyone, no matter how strong, can give into the darkness, it is my duty as your teacher to help you ward off such temptations." _

_I scoff at this. "Clearly I'm not cut out for that, seeing as I nearly killed Aqua today!"_

"_Yes, your actions today were… regrettable. However, Terra, you are still young, the fact that you feel such contrition for your actions is a sign that you are still a denizen of the light. You must understand, darkness, the effect it can have on a person…" The Master turns to his side, he seemed to be remembering something (or someone). I tilt my head, wanting to assuage my curiosity by asking him to elaborate on his statement but before I can utter a single word - "Darkness, it destroys everything it touches; even the strongest of bonds can be severed because of it." He turns back to look at me. "Terra, I don't want you, or Aqua, to EVER give into the dark. No matter what happens, I want you to fight any dark urges. Any anger you feel, suppress it, any hatred you have, set it aside, if you feel jealous then better yourself. That's what I want, Terra: for you to be better." His eyes shined with compassion._

"_I want you to be better, Terra. I want you to embrace the light completely, so that the darkness in you can never surface. Today was not a good day - that cannot be denied - however, it did give you an idea of the kind of damage darkness can cause. I want you to burn this day into your memory so that it may be a constant reminder of what can happen if you give into the dark. You are powerful, Terra, imagine, even for a second, of the destruction that can be wrought if you were to use your powers for nefarious purposes." _

_I nod in understanding, flashes of Aqua's terrified face pervading my mind. "I understand, Master." I get up from my seat. "I need to talk to Aqua." _

_The Master smiles at me reassuringly. "Do not think for even a second that she hates you or is frightened of you. She hasn't made contact with you yet because she knows that your actions have hurt you more than anyone else, and is giving you the space you need."_

"_Thank you, Master."_

_I leave his study and start making my way towards Aqua's room. For her sake, for the Master's sake, I need to be better; I will be better._

Except, Master, I wasn't; I give into the darkness as I did before, and the destruction I wrought. It was exactly as you said.

* * *

The morning afterwards, I groggily get out of my bed, not having slept even the tiniest bit. Memories of the Master and of everything that happened while I was Xehanort's puppet scrolled through my mind. I was the catalyst for everything that happened, my darkness was used as a weapon against everyone I held dear; and now I was about to have breakfast with those same people. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be chatting with them as if nothing ever happened, pretending as if I've been acquitted for all my misdeeds. However, I can't bring myself to leave, I can't bring myself to just abandon them. I can't be described as being an ascetic person; those two are everything I could ever want from life, and the selfish part of me can't bring myself to give them up.

I stroll over to the table, sitting down as Aqua joins me. I thank her as she hands me a glass of juice. She takes a seat next to me, I stare at her and feel remorse for that one incident, even though she forgave me long ago, even though I forgave myself, I still feel so –

"Do you mind if I have my session with Ven first? We were making steady progress yesterday and I want to continue off from that." She interrupts my thoughts, asking me an innocuous question about the day's plan. "Go right ahead, the little twerp's learns more from you than he does from me." I jokingly reply, and although Aqua snickers at this she still stares at me disapprovingly.

"Don't put yourself down like that. You're a great teacher, he wouldn't be nearly as capable if it wasn't for your guidance." I feel my lips twitch as I soak in her praise. "Speaking of the little guy, I should go get him." _Speak of the devil._

I see Ven approach the table, greeting him as he sits down. Aqua then enquires if he slept well.

"Yeah, but it looks like you two didn't. What's up?" His question catches me off guard, I had considered that my sleepless night would be visible but I hadn't realized that the same physical signs of a restless night were present on Aqua as well. I didn't know what to think about that, had she simply been up reading or was there something more to this. For now, I provided Ven with an answer, albeit an unsatisfactory one, thankfully Aqua's answer was able to ward off any further questions from Ven.

He then excitedly states that we'll need all our energy for what's coming. I take this as a chance to tease him a bit. His petulant responses are a source of great amusement for me, it reinforces the brotherly bond the two of us share. A strong desire to ruffle his hair takes hold of me but I push it down, too afraid of the stinging feeling. Aqua weakly rebukes me, asking Ven to elucidate his earlier statement. He then nervously places three objects on the table. Aqua and I stare at them intently, the objects were undoubtedly familiar but what exactly they were, I couldn't put a finger on it.

Aqua's memory, thankfully, is better than mine as she recalls that these are the lifetime passes to Disney Town. The memories came crashing down as I remember the battle in Radiant Garden, of Ven so seriously inviting us to the festival… of Aqua's mission to tail me, of the Master's distrust. I shake those thoughts away, continuing to tease Ven, more so as a distraction than as a form of entertainment.

"Yeah, well, what's wrong with wanting to go to a festival with my two best friends?!" Ven states passionately. My affection for the boy is most likely apparent in my features. It's a simple request, one I wouldn't have ever denied him in the past, but right now, there's a part of me – a large part – that wants to do exactly that, to deny him. What right do I have to go to a place of such jubilation and merriment? What right do I have to go to such a place with the two people who deserved all the happiness in the world? Aqua who, after so many hardships, deserves to let loose and bask in the sunlight, and Ven, someone who hasn't been a person of their own for so long, deserves as much; I, who was a vessel of darkness, the one who precipitated Xehanort's plans, is not deserving. However, looking at Ven's pleading face, I realize that perhaps this can be an act of atonement, just another in a long list of reparations. Aqua and I agree to his request.

He excitedly tells us about all the details he got from Jiminy. "… I just want us to… make up for all the time we've lost." At these words I feel my heart clench. I want to hug him and tell him that everything is going to be fine, that everything is fine – that he has his life back and he can live it to its fullest; but I can't, I'm so afraid of touching him, of him touching me that I can't even muster up the courage, or have _the fortitude¸_ to comfort him. I'm about to speak, hoping that perhaps my words can provide him some comfort in lieu of anything else. However, Aqua takes that role and provides him with the comfort he needs. I'm thankful for her interjection, although a part of me is somewhat annoyed at her for doing so.

With nothing else to add, I raise my glass and reiterate that all of us will be heading off to Disney Town for the Dream Festival.

* * *

I sit at one of the stone benches near the training grounds, observing the two in front of me. Ven is making tremendous progress, not surprising as Aqua is one hell of an instructor. A student can't move forward if they don't have complete trust in their teacher. This thought makes me think of Master Eraqus, but then another face crosses my mind: a dark face with golden eyes – Master Xehanort; I had trusted him in Master Eraqus' stead, I had sought guidance from him. I don't begrudge Ven for having complete faith in his teacher, so why do I so for myself when it comes to Master Xehanort? Maybe because I had done so after tossing away the trust and faith I had in my own master, my own father. Ven trusted Aqua, he would continue to trust her, he wouldn't be tricked by the darkness, overcome with anger or spite, he would persevere, holding onto the bright light within him, that's where him and I differ, he has the potential to better, I don't, I never did.

I want to be better but I know that I can't be.


	6. Part 2: Aqua

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Disney and Square Enix.**

**Thank you to everyone who's read the story, followed and/or favorite-d, it means a great deal to me. I'll be honest, I had trouble writing this one. I won't say I'm wholly satisfied with this chapter but it's much better than what I originally wrote. I would appreciate some feedback on this chapter in particular. Also, an A/N at the end, please read. **

* * *

The clocks chime four times, the cool night air trickled in from the window as I lay on top of my bed, arms and legs sprawled out; I'm unable to sleep, despite the heaviness in my eyelids, I had spent the last few hours tossing and turning in my bed, by this point I've given up on the prospect of getting any sleep, hoping now that as long as my body is rested I'll be able to tackle my duties without any fatigue and with as much gusto as I can muster.

I begin to hum a tune, a lullaby, I think. I'm unable to place where exactly I heard this melody (perhaps in one of the many worlds I visited) but regardless of its place of origin, it is a tune that has a profound effect on me; it starts off as a slow, somber melody – I envisage a desolate forest during nighttime – but it begins to pick up, the tune changes into something a bit more jovial –the barren forest lights up with the glow of a million fireflies – and it continues to grow more in intensity, the melancholic yet hopeful melody, until it reaches a crescendo – the fireflies are now swarming around – and gradually begins to diminish, until finally it is as slow as the beginning but not as somber, instead it's far more… happy, although there are still undertones of melancholy – the forest is empty once more, except for three fireflies, huddled together on a lone branch.

This tune, so simple and unembellished, is always able to bring a smile to my face and tug at my heartstrings. To others this would be a rather forgettable jingle, but for me it's a lifeline. In the Realm of Darkness, all I had were memories, both good and bad, as companions. I often reminisced about the childish antics I got up to with Terra back when we were still little, or the bouts of affection I would have for Ventus, showering him with it until he (or Terra) had to ask me to stop, mostly out of embarrassment… or the last time I had a conversation with them before our worlds and hearts were shattered by Master Xehanort; all these memories were my bastion, my beacons of light in eternal darkness, however the one thing I kept turning back to, no matter the situation, was this 'forgettable' melody. It gave me comfort, it gave me warmth, and it gave me the strength to continue traversing the barren landscape when the memories of Terra and Ventus weren't enough.

I sigh dejectedly, admonishing myself for even thinking that. _How could they not be enough? Those two, they're everything to me: my allies, my friends, and my family. Everything I could ever want lies with them. They are the buttresses that keep me from breaking down and falling apart. They're enough, they'll always be enough._

"Except, they aren't, are they?" I spring up from the bed, looking around my room frantically. Where had the voice come from?! The cold, callous tone was familiar. Instinctively I turn to the broken shards that remain stationary at the corner of my room.

_This is real._

_This is real._

_This is real._

Over and over, I repeat the phrase to myself, my eyes shut tightly, my heart beating a mile a minute. Whatever that was, it wasn't real!

"If they were enough, then how could I have ever come to exist?" My eyes shoot open and I almost yelp in surprise as I see myself sitting precariously at the very edge of the bed. I gulp in trepidation, taking a singular step backwards; my heart continues to pound in my chest.

The dour rays of the bright moon cascade into the room, illuminating it to the point that I could make out _my_ features: bleach white hair, skin a mixture of pale white and dark violet, fingertips as red as crimson, and eyes as gold as… Xehanort's.

She looks up at me, those cold eyes burrowing into me, a scowl adorned her face, her brows furrowed in tethered rage. She quickly stands, despite being the same height, I find myself feeling smaller in comparison, her aura intimidating me to the point that I feel as if I've shrunk in stature.

"They weren't enough! They weren't enough to keep us safe from the darkness, they weren't enough to comfort us when we most needed it, and they weren't enough to help us!" She yells at me, her voice dripping with anger and venom. My lower lip trembles, I try to compose myself, no matter what I would not embarrass myself by whimpering.

"They – "She interjects. "You know it as well as I do, don't you?" I stare at her, confusion evident on my features. She laughs, devoid of any mirth, it's a laugh filled with contempt. "We sacrificed ourselves like the good little martyr our 'Master' trained us to be, then we did it again because we're oh so noble! How were we repaid for our efforts?! By being abandoned, left alone to rot and waste away in HELL!" She sniggers, her ire not masked by her seemingly amused smile at all.

"But they did come for us! Terra and Ventus couldn't, yes, but that wasn't up to them. Mickey and Riku, they looked for us, and Sora, he helped us, he provided us with the light we so desperately needed." With each word uttered I felt my resolve grow stronger, my confidence had returned and I know I can stand up to her.

She laughs in response, disdain and contempt laced in it. She pinches the bridge of her nose with her blood red fingers, continuing to laugh as it gradually subsides. "And what makes you so sure that we're out, hmm? As far as I can tell, right now you're all alone. Terra and Ventus, where are they, huh? Do you see him on the steps of the castle, or do you see Ventus sleeping soundly in a glass casket?"

I remember how I had deluded myself into thinking that the two of them were present in the Realm of Darkness, how, despite knowing that logically they wouldn't be there, my mind was so elated to see them, and how much, in those brief moments, my hunger and desire for companionship had slowly stripped away my sanity. However, that was in the Realm of Darkness, now I'm home, no longer surrounded by delusions but by the people I've longed to be with.

"They're real! It's not my imagination, it's not some delusion or hallucination! Those are here with me; they're not apparitions, you are!" I stare her down, lacing my every word with conviction. She chuckles in response. "I see, you're with them now. You're two _friends._" The last word spoken as if it were taboo to utter it. "The boy whose darkness was turned into a weapon used to hurt us, and the man who gave into the darkness so easily. Actually, putting it like that, I realize how much our _friends _are the cause of everything we went through! Had Ventus not carried such darkness in his heart, then Xehanort would have no means of forging the X-Blade – "

"Please, stop." I mutter weakly.

" – and had Terra not been so weak willed and gullible, then he would have seen through Xehanort's ruse, he wouldn't have given in and we would never have to clean up after his mess and be stuck here!"

"Please, stop." I'm pleading now.

"Everything we went through, we went through for _them_, only because we had to pay for their mistakes! They both let us down and now we're stuck here because of them! Misery, anguish, loneliness, it's all we have left and it's all because of them. Every single minute, we're bedeviled by their incompetence and ineptitude, tormented by their mistakes and our desire to protect them! We suffered because of them!"

"STOP IT!" I yell out, tears rolling down my face, my emotions unchecked and unfettered. "Please, just stop." My voice cracked. "It's not – they suffered as much as me. It wasn't their fault." I begin to whimper, she snickers at the pathetic sight in front of her.

"You're right." Whispering in a low, dangerous tone, she continues. "It wasn't _just_ their fault. We're equally to blame, aren't we?" My breathing has grown ragged, her words cause a wave of dread to wash over me. She chuckles in derision, mocking my fear as she saunters over to the broken shards of glass. "Let's find out how much we're to blame for constructing our own prison." Her body emits darkness as it envelops her whole being, until suddenly it vanishes, leaving not a single trace behind.

_This is real._

I chivvy myself to move forward, to inspect the area, but before I can, the shards begin to rise up from the ground. Like pieces of a puzzle, they begin to attach themselves to one another, reforming the broken vanity mirror, although the cracks are visible and pronounced. My reflection stares back at me with hollow eyes.

"Only your heart is hollow enough to be a demon's." A blinding light emanates from the mirror, forcing me to shield my eyes. After a few seconds I lower my arm and stare at the phantom in front of me. My Phantom returns the stare with its lifeless eyes. "You were once so full of life, a person whom people could rely on, but now, look at you: you failed to save Ventus, you failed to stop Terra, and by 'saving' him, you allowed Xehanort to do what he wanted unencumbered. How many worlds fell to darkness, how many lives destroyed, how much of the light snuffed out, because you _saved _Terra?" She monotonously listed down my failures, every single one felt like a stab to my heart. Was she right? Had my actions caused more harm than what would have occurred otherwise?

"I tried! I had to do something, I had to save them! I couldn't just roll over and let it all happen!" I choked out these words, my resolve crumbling further with each word that escaped my lips.

"Everything you did amounts to nothing. Even in your grandest delusions, it is not you who saves them. You turn to another, a boy you once saw great potential in, you desperately turn to him and raise him up as some sort of hero, hoping that he'll take on the task – your task – and prevail when you failed. You're not a hero, you know this, what you are is a shell, filled with an aged master's teachings, but with nothing of your own. Just a shell, brittle, ready to break as soon as it falls. Cling onto hope for however long you want, you will soon learn: you are here because you failed."

Her words reverberate in my mind, I'm unable to shift my gaze as I continue to stare intently at her. Tears still run down my cheeks, I don't bother wiping them away as it won't do me any good.

_You are here because you failed._

_You are here because they weren't enough. _

I begin to openly sob, falling down to my knees, my face buried in the palm of my hands. I don't want to believe any of this. Ventus and Terra, they aren't at fault, they tried their hardest but fate simply didn't want them to succeed, didn't want me to succeed; it wasn't our fault, it wasn't _my _fault!

But… what if it was? Had Terra's desire for strength and inability to control the darkness further Xehanort's plans? If Xehanort had disposed of Ventus as oppose to bifurcating his light and darkness, would the Master still be alive? Had I chosen to give Terra up, would I still be home?

The clocks chime six times, the sudden sound takes me out of my introspection. I look around and see that the sun had already risen, my room was now glowing in an orange hue. I look to the corner and see the shards in the position they were originally, I turn to my bed and see nothing more than a clump of wrinkled sheets. The incorporeal vestiges of my time in the Realm of Darkness remain an ever-present part of my life. _Two hours._ A whole two hours had passed and I didn't even realize that it did; it happened again.

I get up, rubbing my knees, sore from being in the same position for who knows how long. I turn and walk towards the window, looking out and staring at the radiant sun, basking in its glorious warmth, and the faintest of smiles crosses my face, I was alone now.

A thought crosses my mind. Terra and Ventus's rooms are adjacent to my own. During my 'fight' with Anti and Phantom Aqua, I had screamed, loudly. Neither Terra nor Ventus are particularly heavy sleepers, they would have heard me screaming, they would have rushed to my room to check on me; so if they didn't, then I can logically conclude that… I didn't scream. Everything that happened during the night was nothing more than my own imagination, everything spoken or yelled, all creations of my broken mind. I hold back the tears that threaten to form once again. I shake my head in resignation, I realize that I can't keep living like this, my mind is losing its hold on reality, with every passing day I grow to question my situation and circumstances further – Ventus and Terra, they're real (I know this!) but I can't yet comprehend it.

My mind is in shambles and my will is beginning to break; three statements pervade my head.

_You are here because you failed. _

_You are here because they weren't enough._

_This is real._

I begin humming the familiar tune once more.

* * *

I lazily sauntered my way into the kitchen, exhausted from the night's excursions. My reality is nothing more than a thick fog, disorienting me in every way, obscuring my path and preventing any light from entering; eventually, will I be able to differentiate between the fog and the unending blackness of the Realm of Darkness? As I ponder on this lone question, I see Terra sitting in his seat, waiting for the other two inhabitants of the castle to arrive. I smile to myself, my eyes filling with affection as he radiates the light I need, the light that cuts through the fog and lets me see clearly once again.

I want to tell him and Ventus everything, about the apparitions, about the lapses of consciousness, about everything, but I know in my heart that I shouldn't. They, too, have been through a great deal of turmoil and strife, the distant look in Ventus's eyes and Terra's aversion to touch evidence to that fact. So I won't take them into my confidence, I shouldn't, piling my own problems onto theirs won't help any of us. This is my burden and I must carry it the best I can.

I pour two glasses of juice and take them over to the table, handing Terra his. I greet him and he reciprocates. I take my seat and drown my drink. I catch Terra staring at me in my peripheral vision, I'm not sure why but he has a troubled look on his face; I decide to avert his mind from whatever's disturbing him.

"Do you mind if I have my session with Ven first? We were making steady progress yesterday and I want to continue off from that." I request, he ponders my question and responds in the affirmative, making a self-deprecating remark in the process. I chuckle at his little self-jab but it upsets me to hear him talk in such a way about himself. I won't ever say that Terra was the boastful, conceited type but he was one to take pride in his achievements, he wasn't one to bring himself down in any way, always ready to build himself up instead. So hearing him speak so poorly of himself irked me, not because the comment itself was scathing in any way but because this is a habit he's seemed to have formed lately. It was almost as if he was trying to insult himself as a form of penance, something I had many grievances with.

"Don't put yourself down like that. You're a great teacher, he wouldn't be nearly as capable if it wasn't for your guidance." I hope my praise is able to lift his spirits, even if slightly; thankfully it bears fruit as I see his lips twitch and form a genuine smile. I return the smile, feeling proud of myself for helping him, even if it was through such a minor act. Before the conversation can continue, Ventus appears. Any remnants of the fog have now completely vanished, dissipated as the other source of light in my life groggily walks over to the table.

Terra greets him and I enquire about whether he slept well; his response catches me off guard.

"Yeah, but it looks like you two didn't. What's up?"

I realize that my own sleepless night would probably have been readily visible but as I turn to Terra, I realize that it seems he was afflicted with the same physical indicators. It seems neither of us had it easy, another reason as to why I shouldn't tell them about the apparitions.

Terra provides Ventus with an excuse, albeit a mediocre one, but seeing as there was nothing else for either of us to say I provide a similar, yet more eloquent, excuse. This seems to satisfy Ven's curiosity, he shrugs his shoulders and then excitedly tells us that we should be prepared for what's coming up. As to be expected, Terra uses Ven's excitement as a weapon to use against the poor boy. I didn't want to dissuade Ven from talking, although I understand that this is merely playful teasing on Terra's part, so I intervene on Ven's behalf.

"Terra, be nice." I lightly admonish the brunette, almost swatting his arm playfully, but memories of Terra hissing in discomfort and recoiling from any touch pass through my head and I stop myself. Even though there's a strong desire in me to touch him, to hug him, to have the same intimate relationship as before, I understand that he needs his space and forcing it won't do him any good. I retract my hand and place it on my chest; I'll have to make due with coddling Ventus for the time being. Speaking of Ven…

"What should we be looking forward to, Ven?"

Ven then places something on the table, Terra and I lean in (I ensure that neither of our shoulders touch) and stare at the objects intently. After a few seconds of pondering where I had seen them before, realization dawns on me and I confidently state that these are the lifetime passes to Disney Town that Ven had procured from someone.

Terra fills in the rest, ragging Ven for his behavior when he had originally told us about the passes. I smile inwardly, remembering how sweetly the young boy had asked us two to accompany him. "You were so cute when you asked us to go." I cooed, realizing too late that my statement only added to the poor boy's embarrassment, and providing Terra with more fuel. However, before I could defend him, Ventus spoke up.

"Yeah, well, what's wrong with wanting to go to a festival with my best friends?!" He plops down onto his seat with a huff. Hearing him say that with such tenderness made me forget that there was ever a fog in my life. I wanted to envelope him into a warm embrace and spoil him with affection, but I know that the boy would rather I not do that, so I opt to simply voice my endearment. Terra, however, beats me to the punch.

Ven then begins filling us in on the details, each word (each syllable) brimming with excitement and anticipation.

"And… I just want us to have fun, y'know? Like, I don't want us to just spend all our time doing official Keyblade wielder stuff. I just want us to… make up for the time we've lost." He murmurs and my heart aches as I stare at his downcast form. Terra begins to say something but I rudely cut him off to help raise the boy's spirits. He smiles at me, grateful for what I said. Terra raises his glass and toasts to the festival. We all chime in, ready and excited for a day out.

The fog is nowhere to be seen, as long as I have these two beacons of light, I never have to fear the fog; as long as the path is clear, I can stand up to the apparitions, and overcome everything my mind refuses to face. This trip, this outing with the two of them can perhaps be exactly what my mind needs to accept.

_This is real._

* * *

After breakfast, the three of us headed out to the training ground to begin the day's lesson. Terra went to the side to observe the upcoming lesson (he might learn something new himself). As Ven approaches, brandishing his Keyblade, I look towards the sun, all memories and remnants of the night gone, the apparitions and the fog in nowhere to be seen; I can breathe, I can bask in the light of the sun and of the two boys around me.

However, even though the fog is not present, I still feel the chill of the smog; even though the apparitions themselves are not present, their words still echo in my ears. As Ven readies himself for the day's lessons, as Terra leans forward in anticipation, all I can think is… _they aren't enough._

* * *

**A/N: Now, for the next chapter I'm considering writing an in-between chapter, so to speak. A chapter where the characters prepare for, and travel to Disney Town, done without being written from any particular character's POV. I'm not 100% on the idea so some feedback on this would be highly appreciated. Thanks for reading. **


	7. Part 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Square Enix and Disney.**

**So this chapter isn't written from the perspective of any character, it's simply an in between chapter that's meant to further elaborate, in a way, on the characters, what they're going through, and their relationship. The next chapter will have the trio finally getting to Disney Town and having some fun. I plan to have it be far more lighthearted than the rest of the story and it, too, will be written in 3rd person. **

**I appreciate everyone who has followed and reviewed the story, means a lot to me. Happy reading.**

* * *

The days simply passed by, the mundane activities of the day-to-day blurred together until these brief days leading up to the festival felt as if they were nothing more than distant memories. Now, standing in their respective rooms, the three inhabitants of the Land of Departure are, in equal parts, anxious and excited.

All three, coincidentally, recall the conversation they had earlier in the evening.

* * *

_Dinner had been an unusually quiet affair. Terra, his eyes flicking from Ventus to Aqua, clears his throat to elicit some reaction from the other two; he is unsuccessful. Ventus, who had his eyes fixed on his plate throughout the meal, hazard a glance at the cerulean haired warrior sitting across from him. What he sees is a young woman, haggard, upset and muttering something to herself._

_Earlier in the day the trio had left for another world: The Enchanted Dominion. They had been informed by Master Yen Sid that there had been some sightings of Heartless in the region, not an all too uncommon occurrence, the defeat of the Organization did not entail that all Heartless and Nobody would cease to exist, so the occasional 'clean-up' job was needed. It had gone as routinely as possible, mechanically the trio rid the world of any lingering Heartless, techniques that had been ingrained into them through rote. _

_The residents of the world, grateful of their saviors, beseeched the trio that they stay and be rewarded properly. The trio declined the offer, but out of a sense of courtesy, yielded to the degree that they would have an audience of the King so that he may be able to thank them personally; the King was relentless in his expression of gratitude, wishing to shower them with gifts and much more. The humble trio respectfully declined. The trio then opted to spend some time in the aptly named Enchanted Dominion. However, their excursion was cut short as Aqua had suddenly started weeping, yelling at someone, demanding that they 'shut up'. Brandishing her Keyblade, Terra and Ventus looked at her with trepidation, worried for her well-being and for those around them. As Aqua continued to cry, her body stiffened and her arms shook, there was no telling what she might do next. _

_Terra wished to reach out to her and calm her down, however even the mere thought of touching her (or Ventus) upset him so greatly that he couldn't bring himself to do it. Ventus merely gawked at her, unsure of what to do, doubting and questioning every single action he could think of, wondering so intently on how Sora would handle the situation. Eventually, however, the situation diffused itself and Aqua suddenly regained her senses, quickly composing herself, unable, unfortunately, to mask the tears. Aqua, without missing a beat, calls forth her Glider and flies into a Corridor Between. The boys simply stared, unsure on how to handle the situation._

_Sitting at the table, no one had made a move; Aqua is unwilling, Terra is afraid, and Ventus is unsure. Eventually, it seems the quiet had grown to be too much and one of them decides to break the ice. _

"_Aqua… what was that?" Seems Ventus is able to channel some of Sora's courage and asks her what both him and Terra have been wondering. _

"_Yeah, you were just – I don't understand what happened. Are you okay?" Terra wished to grab her hand, to offer her some comfort but…_

_Aqua didn't seem to respond, her body language indicated that she didn't even hear them. Terra and Ventus exchange looks, not sure whether they should continue questioning her. _

"_It's nothing." A voice so low, so devoid of any confidence or life that it startled them both to see that it came from Aqua. "It was just… I haven't been getting much sleep lately." She states so matter-of-factly that neither of the two boys knows how to respond to that. Lack of sleep wouldn't lead to something the likes of what they witnessed today; lethargy, crankiness, a cantankerous attitude, these are what they would expect from someone lacking proper rest, but her behavior was something else entirely. _

"_I seriously doubt that's it." Terra's the one to voice their disbelief. "You really expect us to believe you started yelling in the middle of the road, called your Keyblade and cried 'cause you were sleepy?"_

"_Aqua, what's wrong? You can tell us." Although Ventus says that, his voice quivers, this doesn't go unnoticed by the other two wielders. _

"_Look, guys, it's nothing. I swear, it's nothing. I know what I did today was freaky, to say the least, I know that, it's not something worth pursuing. Really." She pleads with them to drop the issue, finally facing the two, hoping that they'll give up the interrogation at the behest. _

"_We're not gonna drop it just like that! Right, Ven?" _

_Ventus seems to hesitate, doubt creeping in further as he's not sure whether to agree with Terra or do as Aqua requested. Terra seems to takes his silence as an affirmative response and continues to bombard Aqua with more questions. _

_Aqua, not wanting to reveal the true reason for her behavior, sighs in resignation as she's forced to use an excuse that she knew would shut Terra up. _

"_Aqua, seriously, the two of us have a righ-"She cuts him off._

"_I've been stuck in the Realm of Darkness for so long, sometimes I just…" Her gaze turns downward, her breath hitches and both boys are left perturbed, worriedly glancing at each other and wondering how they to approach this. _

_Aqua, on the other hand, berates herself, she knows that they won't question her further, afraid to bring up any bad memories; her statement, so vague and devoid of detail, has effectively created a minefield that the two would have to carefully navigate through in order to reach her, she knows neither of them are willing to do so. _

"_We understand." Ventus speaks up. "If you're not feeling up to it, we can cancel tomorrow's trip." Referring to the festival, Ventus's dejection and disappointment is readily apparent; Aqua wonders if this is some form of emotional manipulation or if Ventus is genuinely worried. Terra agrees with the younger male, unwittingly adding to Aqua's guilt for potentially ruining something so obviously important for Ventus. _

"_No, no, it's nothing that serious. It was just a bad day, everyone has them. Don't worry, we're still going and we're gonna have a great time." For the first time in hours does the female Keyblade wielder smile, the tense air and sense of despondency dissipating in a matter of seconds. Terra and Ventus smile back, glad to see her spirits lifted. _

"_That's great!" Ventus is almost chirping in excitement, his giddiness eliciting a light giggle from Aqua. "Glad to see you doing better." Terra comments, Aqua turns to him, grinning back. "Thanks, although I can't say you played a big part in doing so." Aqua lightly teases, snickering at her childish comment, however Terra tenses, feeling a pang of guilt in his heart; he agrees with her, even in a moment of distress he was unable to rise above his phobia and comfort her, all he could do, at the end of the day, was question and prod her for answers. He thinks he may have only made her feel worse and he can't help but feel as if his presence alone would have distressed her further, had it not been for Ventus, he's not sure how this situation could have played out. _

_Ventus, consequently, is happy and surprised by Aqua's turn around. It seems that there was no need to really talk to her, it was enough to give her room and comfort her if needed. He had doubted his ability to do, recalling how effortlessly Sora was able to light up a room with his mere presence; he was reminded once more of Sora's light, its radiance and warmth. Before this incident Ventus had felt a light of such caliber from Aqua, however it was cold and distant today, therefore he had desired so greatly to return it to its original state. He hasn't felt much of the same light from Terra but he hopes that it will be burn and glow with the same intensity soon. _

_Having nothing else to discuss, the three bid each other good night and go to their respective rooms._

* * *

Now in his room, Ventus takes the opportunity to call Jiminy Cricket. After a few seconds, the call is picked up.

"Hey, Jiminy." Ventus, sitting atop his bed, beams at the bespoke insect.

"Hi there, Ventus. I see somebody's quite excited for the festival tomorrow." Jiminy muses, a fond smile etched on his face.

"You bet! I just got done packing some stuff, I'm sure Aqua and Terra are doing the same."

"That's quite good, I look forward to meeting you three as soon as possible." Jiminy takes off his hat and places it to the side.

Ventus hesitates, nervous about the question he was about to ask. "Hey, Jiminy?" The cricket in question raises his eyebrows in expectation. "So the King's gonna be there, does that mean that Donald and Goofy are gonna be there too?"

"Hmm, of course they will be. Before they got so busy, the two of them loved going to the festival. Why, Goofy was the reigning champion in Fruit Ball. And Donald always took Daisy to all the stalls, quite the romantic he is, that Donald." Jiminy laughs at the thought, Ventus cracks a smile at the image of someone as irritable and grouchy as Donald setting up a candlelit dinner and serenading his significant other.

"That's good to know, I hope to see all o' you tomorrow."

"It's a promise." Jiminy responds.

Ending the call, Ventus lays down on his bed, thinking of the two fragments of the heart he was once part of, thinking of the light he seeks, but what he wasn't thinking of were the two friends who were distressed.

* * *

Down the hall, Terra stares out of his window, looking at the grave of his late Master and father, lamenting over the fact that he was so useless today, how he was unable to help Aqua in the slightest; he remembered the promise he made to his Master, that he would look over the two of them and would protect them. He scoffs at the memory, realizing just how inept he is and how his Master, so wise and knowledgeable, made the errant decision to trust him of all people to look after the others; Aqua… Aqua is the trustworthy one, he was the one who lets everyone down.

"I'm sorry, Master, I just – I can't do anything right. Why can't I just stop screwing up?!"

* * *

Aqua paces back and forth in her room, recollecting the events of the day, specifically of what happened in the Enchanted Dominion. She used her circumstances as a way of fending off against any further questions, the action making her feel angry and upset.

She turns to her side, continuing to stare at the broken glass shards. She wonders why she hasn't tossed them out yet, why is she clinging on to something like them? Her brows furrow in concentration as she slowly marches towards the shards.

She bends down as she reaches the shards, tentatively she extends her arm. The tension in the air is palpable, her breathing halts and her heart races as her hand nears the broken pieces of glass and, much to her relief, that shards are tangible and real. She releases the breath she had been holding and slumps against the wall, chuckling to herself as she regains control of her feelings.

"I'm losing my mind." She utters, the grin on her face and the mirth in her voice would give off the impression that she is, in fact, not mentally well. She shakes her head, wanting to relieve herself of such thoughts; she gasps in horror and dismay, falling to the ground, tears welling up in her eyes: there were no shards.

On her knees, she once more reaches forward and only grasps air, the shards were not there. Had they never been there, had she imagined them all this time? She looks to the side and see that the mirror in the vanity was still broken, so she knows that she did break it, but that also means that she swept up the place and got rid of the shards.

"I'm losing my mind." With a frown on her face and sorrow laced in her words, she couldn't come up with an argument.


	8. Part 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Square Enix and Disney.**

**My apologies for taking so long to update, frankly speaking, I just didn't have the motivation to write. I finally sat down and wrote this piece. I originally planned on writing the entire day spent in Disney Town in one chapter, however this chapter is already more than 3000 words long, and we don't even get to the attractions that were present in Birth By Sleep. So I plan on writing that in the next chapter, the chapters after that will most likely be written in the perspectives of each individual character. **

**To everyone who has followed or reviewed, you have my sincerest gratitude. I hope you enjoy this chapter, please feel free to leave a review. **

* * *

A sleepless night prompted by unbridled exhilaration and worry. Ventus, who had spent a majority of the night going through his personal Gummi phone (specifically parsing through the photo album, spending a considerate amount of time going through the pictures taken of the beach day spent at Destiny Islands), found himself as energetic as he possibly could be. He was over the moon, the anticipated day had finally arrived, and although his excitement had waned slightly at last night's _debacle_, it had been reinvigorated once he had thought about the festival itself and the people he's bound to come across – namely Donald and Goofy, the two whom he was most eager to meet.

_This is going to be a good day._

* * *

Another sleepless night prompted, this time however, by a gnawing sense of guilt and dread for the upcoming day. Terra, who had spent the night by the window sill, gazing at the erstwhile master's grave, was now forming, what he dubbed, a game plan. Ventus had informed him that this year's festival was a special event due to the return of the world's beloved king, therefore it wouldn't be presumptuous for him to believe that the festival will be littered with the anthropomorphic citizens of said world. A part of him wondered how the world coped without their monarchic patriarch – despite having been told that in the King's stead, the Queen (he vividly remembers the affable mouse) had done a splendid job of governing the kingdom, he still couldn't help but wonder how drastic of a change it was for the people to lose their king for such an extended period of time. _He wonders, how many years had Xehanort (and himself) kept the King away from his home? He wonders, for how long had he forced the Queen to spend each night in an empty bed? _

Shaking the thoughts away, Terra laments over the fact that there's no feasible way of avoiding physical contact throughout the day, unless he excuses himself from participating in any activity and secludes himself to some empty corner (the thought doesn't seem wholly unattractive to him), however he knows that Ventus would never accept such behavior. He sighs in resignation, realizing that he will simply have to put up with it, for Ventus's sake; he'll put up with the sense of revulsion every time he'll be touched, he'll put up with the feelings of guilt as he stares at the world his hands almost destroyed, he'll put up with all of it… even if he doesn't want to.

_This is going to be a trying day._

* * *

Another sleepless night, courtesy of the remnants of a hollow past. Delirious and feverish, Aqua, who had spent the night curled up in her bed, clutching her ears to drown out the voices of Anger and Self-hate, was pointedly staring at the corner where she had deluded herself to believe were shards of glass. A slideshow of various images plays in her head; she ruminates on all the instances when she was alone and what, in those particular moments, should not be present. How much of her day-to-day life was real and how much was simply her mind playing tricks on her?

_I really am crazy, _she flippantly remarks. Immediately she chides herself for having such a dour mindset, gently slapping the sides of her face, she tells herself that she can't give into these delusions, that no matter how real they may seem, no matter what they tell her, all of it is nothing more than the nightmares of a mind mending itself. She takes a deep breath, calming herself down, repeating over and over the phrase that would bring her back down to the surface whenever her mind began to float away into the realm of nothingness. She gathers whatever she will need for the trip, readying herself for the role of the consummate big sister that she knows Ventus will need for the upcoming day. However, as she heads to the bathroom, her mind heads back to the previous day, to her outburst in the Enchanted Dominion and she muses out loud…

"What if that happens again?"

_This is going to be a hard day._

* * *

Aqua and Terra exit their respective rooms, coincidentally, at the same time, sharing a tacit greeting and congregating to the foyer. They had decided the day before to skip breakfast and to indulge in the various cuisines and snacks that will be present at the festival (they're most looking forward to the ice-cream). Now they stand in the middle of the grand foyer, a soft light illuminating the area – a dazzling sight, to say the least.

"Didn't sleep well?" Aqua posits the query, the physical signs of a restless night visible on his features. Terra gives her a small, dejected smile and shakes his head slowly.

"Me neither."

Terra notices her body shift, realizing that, along with the various physical signs of exhaustion, she was tired in another sense – mentally or emotionally, he couldn't tell. He could, however, tell that she was someone in need of some comfort. A firm hand on her shoulder or perhaps a warm embrace, either one, he knows, would lift her spirits and strengthen her fortitude; he can't provide either. Terra shuffles his feet in frustration, crossing his arms as he mutters "Where the hell is Ven?"

His voice was harsher than he had intended, making Aqua stare at him in exasperation.

"He'll be here, it's still early, and you know he's not one to get up this early in the day." Aqua chastises the non-master and his shoulders slacken, he huffs an apology and heads outside, deciding that a bit of sun will do him good.

Sighing, Aqua turns to the staircase leading to their rooms. As if on cue, the boy in question appears, practically bouncing.

"Hey, Aqua!" He's absolutely beaming and Aqua can't stifle the giggle that escapes her. She walks up to him, ruffling his hair gently. "Good morning, Ven." With a grin he gently pushes her arm away.

"Stop that. Where's Terra?" Ventus inquires and Aqua signals towards the threshold, indicating that he was waiting for them outside. "Let's go." He hurries past the Master, she follows suit, albeit not as quickly.

"Took ya long enough." Terra teasingly rebukes the young wielder as he makes his egress from the grand castle.

"I like to sleep, what can I say?" Ventus jokingly responds, earning a light chuckle from the former. "Yeah, I know, you spent a decade sleeping, didn't you?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Terra knew that the joke may have caused some bleak memories to rear their ugly heads; he was correct in his assumption. Ventus knows that Terra meant nothing by the remark, regardless the statement had made him think of his residency in Sora's heart, of the luminescent glow that the aforementioned heart exuded; he was reminded of home.

The atmosphere was tense and awkward, the two thanked whatever god was listening for Aqua's swift interruption as she finally reaches exits the castle.

"Ready to go?" The two enthusiastically – and hastily – respond in the affirmative. The three then call forth their gliders and pass through a Corridor Between. Their destination: Disney Town.

_This is going to be an interesting day._

* * *

The trip was short, knowing where to go and which road to take, the journey isn't as long and arduous as it was the first time they had individually visited the colorful world. Exiting the Corridor Between, the trio land smoothly on the pavement near the race track. Their armor disappears in a flurry of white light, replacing the stoic mask were now three inquisitive and curious faces.

Despite getting here quite early, the festival was in full swing. The streets were riddled with people, all of whom were engaging in some festival centric activity.

They looked around and marveled at the gorgeous decorations. A series of buntings (that had the emblem of the King stitched on) hung above the streets, each individual flag was a different color, a different shade; large pinwheels the length of palm trees were situated on the side of the roads (the children seem to take a special interest in them); a plethora of different shaped balloons floated gracefully above the rafters, they seemed to be in the shape of the King's head. Further along the road, above the staircase, they saw a set of colorful parasols, twirling in mid-air without anything holding onto them – Aqua surmised that Donald, perhaps, had cast some magic on them.

The trio was gobsmacked, truly taken aback by the effort put into the festival.

"Well, woulda lookie here?" A squeaky voiced spoke up from behind and all three were quick to recognize it. Turning around, they were now face-to-face (as much as they could be) with the resident Gummi ship engineers – Chip 'n' Dale.

The one who had gotten their attention was the black nosed, buck-toothed Chip. His brother, Dale, standing next to him, follows up. "Hiya, fellas!" He spoke with his squeaky, yet slightly gruffer voice.

"Chip! Dale!" Ventus greets the two and walks over to the ticket stand, on top of which the two chipmunks were situated. Terra and Aqua trail close behind, greeting the two miniature engineers as well.

"Hey, Ven! Good to see the three of ya!" Dale, enthused to see such familiar faces, bounces. Chip shares his brother's joy and continues "I remember when you fellas came here long ago. Gosh, weird to see all of you back here again after everythin' that's happened."

All 3 Keyblade wielders hum a response, letting the two chipmunks know that although they agree with what he's saying, it's not something they wish to converse on.

"Well, I bet you're rearing to get on the race track and leave everyone in the dust!" Chip, wanting to redirect the conversation, fervently brings up the Rumble Racing tournament. "We're still setting some stuff up so be sure to come back in just a little bit. With you three participating, this'll be the most exciting race ever!" Dale finishes with a flourish, nearly hitting his brother in the process, who retaliates by shoving him aside. Their antics elicit a slight chuckle from the trio.

"That sounds fun. For now, however, best we get some food. We haven't had breakfast yet." Terra chimes in, gaining the attention of the now bickering chipmunk duo.

"Sure thing! You should head on over to Clarabelle's shop, she makes the best pies around!" The trio decide to heed Chip's suggestion, bidding the brothers farewell and making their way further into the city.

Along the way, they see a multitude of people, chatting amongst themselves of the potential winner of the Million Dreams Award, a prize awarded to the person with the most popularity votes (even non-citizens had a chance of being honored with such a prize). The trio shake their heads in contemplation, remembering how desperately the man named Pete had tried to bag himself the award.

Reaching the town square, the trio widen their eyes in pure awe as they gaze upon the brilliantly radiant carousel smack dab in the middle of the square. Previously when they had visited, there was a gazebo in the center, quaint and unassuming, however for a place so rambunctious and colorful, something as simple as a gazebo felt out of place. In contrast, the carousel, a rotating platform of dizzying lights and scintillating colors, felt more at home. From the looks of it, the townspeople were in agreement as they all flocked to the attraction and rode along.

"Wow!" Ventus is the first to voice their amazement.

"Wow is right." Aqua, second to do so.

Finally, Terra whistles in wonderment.

"We are so riding that! Come on!" Ventus leaps forward and quickly moves towards the attraction, briefly looking back to make sure the other two were following; they were.

The three jump onto the carousel, taking a seat on the inanimate animals. The ride began to move faster and faster, surprising the three, nonetheless they held on and enjoyed themselves. Taking in the sights and sounds of a world that had quickly transformed into an indistinguishable blur. Ventus, although the most excited out of the three, looks ahead somberly. Without wanting to, his mind had drifted back to Sora, to all his adventures and the frenzied state he was perpetually trapped within, he didn't expect the carousel to have such a profound effect on him. Noticing his mood (Terra is closer to Ventus than Aqua), Terra is quick to distract the young boy.

"Wooooooooooooooo! Make it go faster!" Terra yells out, taking the boy and the female master by surprise; Ventus smiles at his exclamation. "Yeah, faster, faster!" Ventus smacks the sides of his seat with his feet, as if he was cowboy spurring his mount into action. Aqua giggles at their antics, however, being one to act cautiously, she reprimands the two, while simultaneously informing the operator to not, in fact, speed it up. The former two pout in return, giving her a disapproving look that she interpreted to mean 'party pooper'; she laughs heartily at their childish response.

Once they were off the ride, the three began to make their way towards the place Chip 'n' Dale had informed them off. Along the way, the three engaged one another.

"That was so fun!" Ventus exclaims.

"Or would have been, had Ms. No Fun here let the guy speed the thing up! He was totally okay with it, too!" Terra remarks, however his tone is not the least bit vindictive.

Rolling her eyes, Aqua places her arm around Ventus's shoulder. "I'm not gonna have you endanger Ven, or anyone else for that matter, with your childish antics." She rebukes in a teasing way, earning a faint chuckle from the man it was directed towards. "Like a spinning ride was gonna hurt me." Ven argues, raising his arms in exasperation. "You're such a mom sometimes, Aqua."

Aqua laughs at his remark, lifting her arm and using it to quickly squeeze Ven's cheek, retracting it before he can swat it away. "That's only because I have such a cute baby boy to look after." Aqua purposely teases him in such a way, knowing that Terra would take the opportunity to further humiliate the boy.

"Ventus: Keyblade Master in training and veritable mama's boy! The worlds will fear his wrath!" Ven glares at Terra for his remark; Terra ignores it and continues. "With his Keyblade held aloft and clutching his mother's hand tightly, the great warrior will charge into battle." By the end his words weren't completely intelligible due to the man attempting to stifle his giggling.

"Shut up." Ventus weakly rebukes, seeing the humor in Terra's teasing, there's no harshness in his tone.

Aqua giggles, picturing herself by Ventus's side and scolding any Heartless or Nobody that dares to even touch the young boy.

As the trio meander their way to their destination, they spot several large objects floating overhead. Their forms casting down a large shadow. "Woah, what's that?" Ventus inquires, to which Aqua replies. "Looks like… kites?" She turns to Terra, hoping he'll affirm her assumption, he simply shrugs in response.

"Yer darn tootin' thems kites!" They turn to the source of the sound and find a biped donkey in grey overalls. "Them kites ar' floatin' all 'round de place! Gots the royal mage to thenk fer dat!" Hearing this, Ventus perks up.

"Do you mean Donald?"

"Yep! That quacker's bin puttin' real werk fer this here fezteeval! Y'see, them kites dun't need strings, they just float 'round the whole kin'dom. Givin' people shade and all dat! It's real pretty to look at too." The Donkey finishes explaining, now gazing up and admiring the magical kites; the trio join him.

Above them there are a myriad of kites, some a typical kite of a single primary color, others far more complex and intricate. One thing they all shared, however, is the size – all of them are much bigger than a typical kite, and as the Donkey had so eloquently stated, they are without strings, the wind having no hold on them as they sway from one place to another as if they had a mind off their own; Donald really was quite the talented mage.

"Heard Miss Daisy's the one who bin makin' the quacker do all this here stuff. Them kites – "He points towards the aforementioned floating objects. " - and them there umbrellas." He points towards the floating parasols, it seems that Donald was really putting in the work, they wonder just how much he had actually contributed to the festival. Or, more accurately, how much had Daisy forced him to contribute.

"I can't wait to see him." Much to Ventus's bewilderment, it wasn't he who stated that but rather Aqua, with Terra nodding his head in agreement. "It's been too long since we've seen them. Would love to just sit down and talk with him, Goofy, and, of course, the King." She continued.

"I'm sure we'll run into them soon, meanwhile, can we please get something to eat? I'm starving!" Terra complains while clutching his 'aching' stomach for dramatic effect. Hearing this, the Donkey chimes in. "If yer looking fer food, I gots a stall set up, gots all sorts a things. Ya can come with now or ya can drop by later! Any friend o' Donald's a friend of mines!" The trio thanks him for the offer and informs him that they will, later in the day, drop by his shop. They bid each other farewell and continue to march towards their destination. They're shielded from the sun by the shade created by the large kite overhead. Ventus can't help but think that Donald was looking out for them even when he wasn't here.

"I don't know about you but my vote's for Donald." Ventus remarks.

"Seems he helped out a lot." Aqua muses.

"Aren't you just being biased?" Terra sardonically comments.

"Nah." Ventus's one word response gets Terra to let out a hearty chuckle.

Looking at the lively scenery around him, and the two people he cherished most, Ventus can't help but feel a sense of elation and even pride; he had convinced them to come here and it seems that it was the right move to make. _It really is a good day._

Terra and Aqua, the two had been so apprehensive about the excursion found themselves basking in warmth and jubilation, surprised by how much they were enjoying themselves and how much their demons and conflict had subsided since partaking in all these activities. Perhaps, they were wrong in their earlier belief.

_Perhaps, this might actually be a good day. _


	9. Part 5: Pies and Fruitball

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it is the property of Disney and Square Enix.**

**I'd like to start off by apologizing for taking so long. I've been fairly busy with university business, and any free time I did have I spent playing catch up with the Devil May Cry series (currently on the 4th one), so I didn't really have the time nor the motivation to write this. **

**Furthermore, I had originally planned to write the remaining events of the day in one chapter but this turned out to be far longer than anticipated (with over 4,000 words, this is the longest chapter in the story), therefore the remaining day will continue on in the next chapter, and hopefully I can finish it by then because I want to get back to the more dramatic aspects of the story. **

**Finally, I'd like to thank everyone who followed and reviewed, your feedback and comments are highly appreciated. **

* * *

Admittedly, the trio had initially thought that Chip 'n' Dale's proclamation of Clarabelle having the best pies around was an exaggeration – they by no means doubted that the aforementioned bovine was capable of producing scrumptious pies, but knowing the chipmunk brothers, they couldn't help but shrug off their praise as nothing more than hyperbole; it didn't help that Clarabelle was perpetually surrounded by flies, which only added to their skepticism. However, along with the pie, they soon ate their words and found themselves practically inhaling the delectable dessert.

Aqua, on any other day, would never approve of having pie for breakfast (it would set a bad precedent, not to mention it's far from the healthiest option) but today is a day of indulgence, therefore she, like the two boys next to her, wasted no time in jumping right in and savoring every bite of her raspberry pie. She was on cloud 9, her taste buds dancing in jubilation as every bite brought her closer to heaven. The two boys were equally as immersed in their desserts. Both of them had opted for the traditional apple pie (Terra's earlier skepticism, combined with his growing hunger made him feel less than adventurous, choosing the 'safest option'; Ven followed his lead).

"I would bury myself alive if it meant I could get more of this pie." Ventus wasn't as intelligible as he had imagined himself being, due to the exorbitant amount of pie stuffed in his mouth, however his friends were able to decipher what he had stated.

"No need, we can just order seconds." Aqua is quick to explain how asinine Ven's declaration is.

"But if the situation calls for it, I would so bury myself alive for more pie." Ven smiles at Terra, glad somebody understands the sheer joy this slice of heaven was bringing him.

"And Aqua, I like how you're thinking." Aqua looks up at Terra as he points at her. She almost asks him what he's referring to but remembers her mouth is full of pie, and she'd rather not have the contents of her mouth spill out – she imagines the boys would never let her live that down. She chooses to raise her eyebrows questioningly.

"We can't just leave with only this much. Who knows when we'll get to eat this –" He lifts a fork full of pie and gobbles it up. " – again, so we need to get more for back home."

One of the magical kites floated overhead, remaining stationary and providing the people sitting outside Clarabelle's shop with much needed shade; the trio appreciated it as well.

"We can ask Clarabelle to keep a few pies reserved for us, we can pick them up when we're about to leave." Ventus suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Terra approved of the idea, Aqua nodded her head in approval as well. Ventus quickly gets up from his seat and heads towards the shop.

Aqua wipes her mouth with her napkin, a picturesque image of poise and grace; she burps softly. Terra chuckles at this. Aqua turns her head, feigning embarrassment (she's been with these two boys long enough to not care about something as trivial as this). Terra, however, has several crumbs strewn all over his torso and lap, a smidgen of the pie he had eaten so greedily was visible on his left cheek. Aqua grins at his messiness, something that Terra notices.

"What, I got something on my face?"

"Actually, you do."

Terra then swats various spots on his face, hoping to get whatever it was off. Aqua snickers at his attempts, rising up from her seat and leaning forward, napkin in hand.

"Here, let me."

Before she can reach his face, however, Terra swats her hand away, recoiling backwards, nearly falling off his chair in the process. Aqua brings her assaulted hand back to her, holding it gently with her other hand. Terra quickly composes himself, pushing the stinging feeling down as he raises his eyes and stares at Aqua's shocked and forlorn expression. He knows he's hurt her; even with something as miniscule as a dirty face, Aqua wanted to help. With no animosity or hidden agenda, she simply reached out to assist him, as a good friend would, and Terra had responded by not only rejecting her assistance but actively pushing her away. She didn't understand why he had reacted in such a way, and frankly, she wondered if Terra understood either.

"I'm sorry." His voice is so low, filled with so much remorse and guilt that one would think that it was being uttered by someone who had committed an unspeakable crime. "I didn't mean to do that. You just… you caught me off guard." He attempts to smile, to alleviate her discomfort.

"I… caught you off guard?" Aqua questions slowly, clearly not buying his excuse. Terra knows that Aqua's smart enough to know when he's lying to her, or when he's trying to divert her attention from seeking the truth. "Look, I'm sorry, it's not a big deal. I didn't hurt you, it just happened." Terra almost pleads, desperate to have her drop the matter – and out of respect for him, she decides to humor him and forego any further questioning. At this point, the youngest member of the trio returns from the shop, ready to continue their day of relaxation and fun.

* * *

Ventus likes to think that he's perceptive, at least when it comes to his two friends. Back before everything, Ven could tell when Aqua had had a bad day (she has a habit of tapping her fingers on any hard surface, she becomes a bit more tight lipped, and is prone to simply ignore anything that might vex her) or when Terra was in some sort of a slump (he would train for longer, would resort to one word responses, and had a proclivity to avoid meals); it was Ven's earnest belief that he knew his friends well enough to deduce if something was wrong. However, at this current moment, he is at a loss.

The trio dejectedly marches forward, Ven standing in the middle of the small group. He turns his head from Terra (when asked if anything was wrong simply gave a gruff 'no' as a response) to Aqua (when asked the same question, she simply turned her head and kept quiet), the tension in the air palpable; whatever had happened during his brief absence had obviously caused some sort of a rift to form between the two older Keybearers.

Being so swiftly shot down by the two, Ven had shrunk in stature, feeling a lump form in his throat as a raging sense of anxiety takes hold of him. _What happened? Did I do something wrong? Did they get into a fight? We were having so much fun, how did things turn out this way?_ A plethora of questions cross his mind, each one filling him with more and more dread. His mind, not knowing how to cope with the current situation, reels back to a more comfortable memory: lying next to Sora's light. The recollection of the warmth and brilliance of that light, of the carefree days, and of the knowledge that as long as Sora was there, things would turn out fine, all of this helped mitigate some of Ventus's worries. He grows more confident, now thinking intently on how to resolve this current predicament. The answer comes in the form of several colorful fruit.

* * *

Ventus was genuinely a little taken aback when Terra and Aqua so easily agreed to a game of Fruitball. Perhaps they needed a distraction as much as Ventus did, or perhaps they were in the mood to hit each other with fruit; one or the other. Either way, Ventus was glad, perhaps a 'friendly' game would help tide things over.

"How do we do this then? One of us sits out and they get to take on the winner?" Aqua reasonably suggests, however Terra shakes his head. "I remember this from way back when, these games take a while, and I don't wanna spend the whole day just doing this. How 'bout this? You and Ventus against me!" Terra exudes confidence, clearly not the least bit hesitant in going up against 2 competitors.

"Cocky, aren't we?" Ventus shoots back.

"Well, I _am_ the strongest one here. Not a stretch to say that I have this in the bag."

"Oh really?" Aqua perks up, a hint of annoyance tracing her voice. "I hope, when you lose, you don't say it was only because it was two against one. The _toughest _guy here should be able to lose graciously." With a huff, the female walks past him, almost tempted to bump shoulders but memories of what happened earlier plague her mind and she decides against it.

"Works for me." Terra, aggravated, heads to his side of the court.

"Everything okay with the three of ya?" A voice asks from the side, Ventus turns to the source and sees the equine adjudicator of the match: Horace Horsecollar.

"Yeah, just a little tense, that's all."

"If you say so. You best get to the court, y'all remember the rules, I'm sure. I'll do the countdown and then the match begins!" Horace enthusiastically replies, earning a smile from Ventus, who has made his way to Aqua. On the other side, Terra smirks arrogantly, thinking the match is for him to win. Aqua responds to the smirk with a glare.

"Remember, there's no time limit for this match here. The first side to score 5 points wins! Got it?" Horace yells out, ensuring one final time that the rules are understood by all; the 3 competitors nod their heads.

"3… 2…. 1… GO!"

The cannon to Ventus and Aqua's left fires out an oversized apple. It barrels towards Terra, he calls forth his Keyblade and launches it into the air, he then proceeds to leap up and smack the fruit towards the goal behind Aqua and Ventus. Aqua cartwheels her way directly onto the path of the fruit. She swipes her Keyblade and passes the fruit over to Ventus who nimbly hits the fruit and hurls it back to Terra's side. As Terra rushes forward, the cannon to his left goes off, this time the fruit is a cluster of grapes. Choosing to forego the apple, Terra swerves to his left and heads for the grapes.

As he launches the grapes up into the air, followed by a hard smack, the grapes undulate, indicating that the pressure applied was loosening them, a few more hits would cause them to separate, and all the participants know that when that happens, it'll be absolute pandemonium. Ventus dives forward, aiming to hit the grapes, meanwhile Terra refocuses on the apple and sends it flying towards the goal. Aqua blocks it a second time, but as Ventus hits the grape cluster, it separates into individual grape pieces, all bouncing around erratically. Most of the grapes (and the apple) were on their side, Aqua calls out to Ventus, giving him a wink which told him what to do.

Ventus corralled all the grapes and began passing them to Aqua who swiftly swatted them towards the opponent's goal. Terra didn't have time for a counterattack, focusing only on defending. As he flails almost spastically, a single grape passes by him.

"Score 1 for Aqua and Ventus." Horace calls outs. Terra nearly growls in frustration. Ventus and Aqua don't let up, however, as they continue their fruity onslaught. By this point some of the grapes had rolled out of the court, setting Terra's mind at ease. His eyes catch sight of a wayward grape heading to the edge of the goal, he dives to defend, not realizing that it was a decoy to distract him from the follow-up shot; the apple hurdled towards the goal.

"2 points for Aqua and Ventus."

Terra was now very agitated. He launched the last remaining grape into the air, jumping and hitting it with as much force as he could muster, however he was clever enough to first assess his opponents' possessions, realizing that during their barrage, both Aqua and Ventus had shifted to their left, leaving their right side completely open; the latter two rush to that side, hoping to stop the fruit from getting in the goal except…

"Score 1 for Terra!"

As Horace yells out the score, the cannons on both sides blast out fruit: a banana and a watermelon. The former lands in Terra's court, while the latter lands in Aqua and Ventus's court. Both sides are quick on the uptake as they quickly move forward. Ventus stays back, acting as a goalkeeper to prevent Terra from getting any more points. Terra is the first to reach his respective fruit, hitting and sending it directly towards Aqua who swats it back, following up with a quick hit on the watermelon. Terra smirks, knowing that Aqua would send the watermelon directly at him, hoping to stagger him; he sends the banana back towards Aqua and blocks the watermelon, keeping it in his court. Her eyes focused, Aqua sidesteps and with tremendous force hits the banana, only to realize that she's played right into Terra's hands – the banana splits open, the peel falling down into the ground; due to her momentum Aqua is unable to stop herself from stepping on the peel and falling down, dizzy from the impact.

Momentarily distracted, Ventus turns to Aqua, ready to ask if she's okay when, catching sight of it in his peripheral vision, the watermelon impacts with Ven, causing him to stagger. The watermelon hits him with enough force that it rebounds back into Terra's court as he hits it a second time, earning his second score.

"2 points for Terra!"

"You two ain't doing so hot." Terra teases, although it comes across as blatant mockery to Aqua. Ventus is also stirred up by Terra's comment, albeit not as upset by it as Aqua.

The cannons blast off once more – a pineapple and a cluster of grapes this time. Unfortunately for Terra, both fruits happen to land on the opposite side; he backtracks to the goal, ready to defend to the best of his abilities. Aqua is the first to take action, thrusting her Keyblade into the center of the pineapple, Ventus is only a second behind, striking the cluster.

Terra realizes that he can't stop both, therefore he has to make a choice. Realizing that hitting the grapes would most likely result in them breaking apart again (and knowing full well how that turned out last time), he intelligently opts to block the pineapple and let the grapes through, effectively taking them out of the current rotation.

"Score 3 for Aqua and Ven!"

Aqua clicks her tongue in annoyance, Terra had figured out their little scheme and made the right call. Another cannon goes off, a basic apple lands in Terra's court. He lines up the pineapple and the apple side-to-side. Almost as if he was playing golf, Terra smacks both fruits in quick succession, having them go in almost a straight line. Being closer to the fruits, Ventus leaps forward and swats the apple out of the way, however, he is not swift enough to stop the pineapple, the impact and the hard, coarse exterior renders him momentarily immobile. Aqua rushes over to check on the young blonde, however as luck would have it, the cannon goes off once more as another watermelon comes hurdling onto the court.

"Point 3 for Terra!"

Aqua looks back in shock, realizing too late that the apple had rolled back onto Terra's side; she had been so distracted in worry that she hadn't noticed.

Another cannon goes off, another apple enters the fray. Aqua doesn't hesitate any longer (mainly because Ventus had recovered and was back on his feet) and sends the pineapple barreling towards the goal, Terra retaliates by deflecting the incoming fruit with the watermelon that was so conveniently near him. Now all three fruits were on his side. Repeating his earlier tactic, he lines up the three fruits side-to-side – Pineapple, watermelon and apple, respectively.

Taking the proper stance, he hits the fruits, aiming for the sides of the goal. What Aqua and Ven don't realize is that Terra hadn't hit all 3 fruit, rather only hitting the first 2 in quick succession. As they flick away the watermelon and pineapple (both now out of bounds), they've left the center wide open, giving Terra the opening he needs to…

"Point 4 for Terra!"

All three are now taking laborious breaths, clearly a bit tired. The cannons go off.

Two pineapples shoot out, one landing in Ventus and Aqua's side, the other in Terra's court. Neither side hesitates to take drastic maneuvers. Terra is one point away from winning, something neither Aqua nor Ventus wish for to happen. Terra, riding the high of his 2 back-to-back goals, was feeling a sense of pride wash over him, for the past few weeks he's only felt remorse and guilt for everything that's happened, so to finally have something he can celebrate, to finally be able to relive some of his past glory – even if it is in something as trivial and inconsequential as Fruitball, it was something.

Not wanting to prolong this match any further, Terra takes a potshot at the goal, hoping that Aqua and Ventu's fatigue would prevent them from defending; Aqua rises above his expectations, cartwheeling before the oncoming fruit and stopping it dead in its tracks. Now both fruits are on their side. Turning to one another, they both smile.

"Ready?" Ventus inquires.

"Ready."

Ventus, who had remained stationary with his fruit close to the edge of the court, got into a battle stance. Aqua mimicked his position and stance, both were now standing close to the edge, an equidistant apart.

"Now!" Aqua yells out as both her and Ventus hit their respective watermelons. The summery fruits move diagonally, Terra is unsure how to react, however what catches him off guard is the fact that both fruits collide with one another, and to further his shock, the impact causes them to repel from one another and bounce away in opposite directions. Now the two fruits are heading for the corners of the goal. Bemused and shocked, Terra quickly regains his composure, realizing that this was all a tactic meant to confuse and perplex him – perhaps leave him confused long enough for both fruit to enter the goal, earning Aqua and Ventus the win; he's not so easy to beat. Realizing that he can only stop one, Terra dives to the side and stops the watermelon launched by Aqua, which goes out of bounds.

"Point 4 for Aqua and Ventus!"

Terra picks himself up, grumbling and huffing in annoyance.

"Oh, nice shot. Take it in, fellas, this is the closest you're gonna get to victory." Terra arrogantly chides his opponents, Ventus merely rolls his eyes at his remark, however Aqua, already annoyed with the brunette (combined with her lack of sleep and general poor mental health), lashes out.

"Will you just shut up already?! I'm not in the mood for your bullshit attitude!"

Everyone present, including Horace and the onlookers, recoil in shock, not expecting the otherwise composed and serene Keybearer to act in such a way. The Keybearer in question was also shocked by her sudden outburst, muttering nearly silent apologies for her behavior.

Terra, whose eyes were as wide as they could be, looks down. His features soften as he realizes that Aqua was only in such a mood due to his earlier behavior. He has denied her any kind of intimacy ever since their return, he's rejected any form of affection she displays, and just today, he brushes aside her kindness in a callous and uncaring way, and now he has the temerity to be arrogant and flippant with her; it comes as no surprise to him that she's upset. Relenting, Terra decides on what to do.

Ventus looked at his friend in genuine shock, Aqua swearing, even something as mild as what she had uttered, was not a common happenstance – in fact, it so scarcely occurred that Ventus could count on one hand the number of times she's done so. He hadn't figured that whatever was going on between Terra and Aqua was this serious.

"Um, since the scores are tied, we're gonna go into the golden round: one last fruit, next score wins the match." Horace awkwardly states.

The cannon goes off one final time and a golden apple lands gently on Terra's side. Swatting it at Ventus, Terra jumps back, defending his goal as Ventus passes the apple to Aqua, hitting it with immeasurable force, something Terra anticipates, blocking with relative ease. Hurling the apple back to Ventus, the round devolves into a simple back and forth, neither side is able to get past the other's defenses, and with the growing fatigue and tiredness, neither side was going to keep it up for long.

Without realizing, Ventus and Aqua had fallen into a set pattern, a rhythm, if you will. Terra would send the apple towards Ventus, who would retaliate and send it diagonally towards the left side of the goal, Terra would deflect it towards Aqua who would replicate Ventus's move and send the apple diagonally towards the goal, however, she would aim for the right side. Terra had hoped that the two would form this pattern, planning to make it seem that they had simply tired him out and eventually gotten a shot in; and that's exactly what happened.

As his muscles began to cramp up, Terra dives one last time for the apple, missing it by a few inches as it whizzes past him and into the goal.

"And that's game point! Aqua and Ventus win!" Horace yells out emphatically, the crowd cheers and whoops in a frenzy, the tumultuous set of anthropomorphic creatures enthusiastically toss out confetti, celebrating the Keybearers' win.

"Heck, y'all were great. Never seen a match that thrilling since the King went up against Donald." Horace congratulates the duo. Despite their exhaustion, the duo smiles sincerely, taking in their victory. Ventus was practically bouncing in joy. Aqua, however, separated herself from the excited crowd and makes her way over to Terra, who was dusting himself off.

"Alright, I concede. You win, congratulations." Terra raises his arms in defeat, smiling earnestly.

"Thanks… for throwing the game." Aqua's response nearly makes Terra fall over.

"You're kidding me, you knew?"

Aqua giggles, shaking her head.

"I'm not so oblivious. Your technique made no sense, it would only result in you wasting energy and not making any progress, you clearly did it on purpose; which you just confirmed, thanks for that, too." Aqua's explanation is logical and sound, Terra laments over the fact that he didn't consider any of this.

"I'm sorry, I just… when you got mad earlier, I realized I was being a jerk and I wanted to make it up to you. We're supposed to have fun today, for Ven's sake – and our own." Terra's heartfelt apology makes Aqua's lips twitch as she's unable to hide her smile.

"Thank you, really. I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Look, whatever's going on with you, I don't wanna pry or push you, so go at your own pace, okay?" Aqua's kindness shines through once more, another reason why she was chosen to be Master rather than him.

"I appreciate that. Now come on, I think all 3 of us could use some rest. You were way tougher than I expected you to be. What, do you practice Fruitball at home when we aren't looking?" Terra teases, though a part of him is seriously asking.

"Where do you think all the oranges disappear off to?" Aqua retorts, Terra laughs a little at her reply. The two join up with Ventus, who suggests that the best way to cool off is with some ice-cream, and perhaps a trio of ducks are the ones who can provide them with the cool treat.

As they briskly walk around, hoping to find Donald's nephews, Terra wonders to himself, the pride and sense of elation he had felt earlier came when he was 'beating' his friends, when he was standing above them, metaphorically speaking. He remembers how inferior he had felt when Aqua had been awarded the title of Master, how useless and devoid of strength he felt in the days following that decision. After everything's that happened, any joy he should feel should be the result of the time he spends with his friends, with his family, not from petty victories in trivial games such as Fruitball – and yet, he felt it, and what upsets him the most is that throwing the match for Aqua's sake didn't feel as good.


End file.
